feel the poison

[martin ignacio cruz]

i am resigned to this wicked fucking world on its way to hell
THE LIVING ARE DEAD AND I HOPE TO JOIN THEM TOO
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Every day here was getting repetitive. It had occurred to Martin a few months back that to stay here might turn out to be the death of him. It's not that he didn't enjoy Ocean View and the company that he made here, it's just that it was so fucking boring that he felt like his brain was about to explode. He had a short attention span to begin with, and when he was going through another manic episode like he had been the last week, today included, it got worse. He hadn't slept, again, the night before and instead was kept awake with that explosive feeling of intense hyperactivity. He was currently sitting in his room, staring out the window and wishing to god that something would happen and now. It was like someone was listening to him up there, and in the next few minutes, some new drug addict they were bringing in against his will was going absolutely psycho outside. He was screaming, running around, trying to escape the security officers who were trying to tackle him and sedate him with the doctor at their side. A small, amused chuckle came from Martin in this moment and propping his head on an open palm, he watched. But then they got the guy, drugged him up, and the amusement was gone. Then he frowned, and let out a sigh and stood up from his spot by the window. He needed to get out of this room and do something. Now. The patient lounge, perhaps, maybe there was a good show on the TV. That is if that resident meth head wasn't watching the Oprah show like he usually was, refusing to let anyone have the remote until it was over. This place was definitely interesting at best, there's no doubt about it.

So he left his room and headed down to the lounge, and when he got there, there was nobody. Score! Looks like everyones in their rooms, and he was free to watch whatever he wanted on the television. So he flopped down on the couch, located the remote, then channel surfed until he came across an episode of family guy. One hes probably seen a million times before, but there was something about this show that could never get old. So he placed the remote on his lap, and got comfortable, watching the show and trying to keep his mind off the urge to do something else. He had to force himself to sit there and endure the only option he had, even if it was too much strain and made him want to explode but oh well. He had to start learning how to control himself in these kinds of states, the doctors said, cause obviously no medication wanted to work for him. It seemed his brain was opposed to every medication they had given him so far, like it worked for a few weeks then he just went right back to how he was before. Not even sleeping meds managed to conk him out. It was a pain in the ass, and apparently this kind of thing never happened, so looks like the whole being a basic psycho thing was a lifetime event. What can ya do! He was used to it by now anyway, which is sad considering he's only sixteen, but whatever. He was long over it by this point.

[rian mercedes alvarez]

EXCUSE ME, YOU‘RE TOO BUSY
WRITING YOUR TRAGEDY
these mishaps, the bubble wrap
When you know I do what you like
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Rian hadn’t been able to do much of anything lately. After she’d gotten out of the group therapy session that morning, she’d spent most of her time locked inside her bedroom avoiding the world, but mostly avoiding Luke. Of course, the entire ward had heard about it and seen it and watched her get dragged away as she‘d attempted to go find Luke and beat some sense into him, little nitwit. She hated that she’d become that girl, the one who let a boy walk all over her and treat her like shit and be the cause of people’s hate for her. Luke was so important to her, he’d been the center of her life for so long that she had been devastated by his betrayal of her and devastated that he could treat her so horribly when she was so used to being his number one. She felt so lost about the whole thing, she had always known Luke was a whore, she had always known that when he got stupid he’d go out and fuck other people, but he’d never seemed to show an interest in other men. It had surprised her very much when Luke had come along, convinced that he was a Godsend for that fucking nurse. Convinced that she’d committed some unfathomable cardinal sin, Rian had spent most of her time hiding away and thinking of her next revenge against him. After all, Luke couldn’t just get away with this, could he? Sure, last time she’d gotten him locked in Isolation for nearly a week, she’d told one of the better nurses that he’d attacked her and attempted to rape her (laughable, considering Luke probably hadn’t seen a vagina since he’d come out of his mother’s) but the nurse had bought it and he’d been dragged away, as she smiled in her doorway and waved him out.

Then he’d been released two days later. Why? She hadn’t any idea until they’d gotten into it over a chat and he’d admitted that perhaps, just maybe, he was right when he said that he had connections she was completely unaware of in this hellhole of a place. No matter, Rian was used to the treatment doctors would sometimes give you if you let them cop a feel during a session, or maybe they were trying to atone for doing something horrible to you. Like shock treatments. Ugh, poor Luke was in for another round of those today, she felt badly for him, but if she had her way, the nurse would be next.

She had been in the shower for almost an hour, she wasn’t sure why exactly, she had just gotten in and then ended up not wanting to ever get out. It was odd how horrible she felt, Rian had bad times, but lately it was just everyday was a terrible day and every moment was painful to get through. When she finally managed to drag herself out from the now-cold water’s stream, she had put on her lotion and spritzed on some perfume and wrapped the towel around her body before flashing her hand across the fogged-mirror to clear it. She took in her reflection, honest to god the healthiest she’d looked in a long time, but the sadness in her eyes took away from the glow of her skin and the lines beginning to fill out in her body. Then she’d gotten in dressed in a simple black, cotton sundress and wandered into the rec room to watch TV. When she got there, she looked to find a boy already seated in her normal place, and her features darkened considerably. It wasn’t that she was particularly mad, more that her annoyance was built in the ensuing presence of a person she didn’t particularly enjoy the company of to begin with. So, with crafty dillegence, the girl snuck behind him and snatched up the remote, flipping off the TV so that his attention was diverted sharply and she was able to laugh at herself for a moment. Stupid child…”That’s my spot. Get out.” Martin. The pervy, annoying, psycho was the bane of her existence, and yet here he was, acting as though he owned the place. ”I said, GET OUT.” and with a definitive slap to the back of his head, she smirked and turned the television set back on again.

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[martin ignacio cruz]

i am resigned to this wicked fucking world on its way to hell
THE LIVING ARE DEAD AND I HOPE TO JOIN THEM TOO
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Martin was actually enjoying his television show, and him enjoying something was rare. It was the episode where Brian, wanting something more to do with his life, started singing with Frank Sinatra Jr. and Stewie joined in on the fun. He was laughing at the appropriate parts, laughter something you rarely ever actually heard out of him unless he was feeling particularly good or manic, which was the case today. Though he was cut off all of that by hearing a voice yelling at him, and telling him to get out of her spot. He didn't have to look up at the person to know who it was. He knew immediately it was Rian, being her usual bitch self. He chuckled lightly to himself, rolling his eyes. Now, he typically got along with people fairly well. There was no margin for error when it came to Martin's social acceptance and how he got along with most people his age, or around the general consensus. He was a social kid, liked having company, liked being around people for the most part even if you'd figure he was the loner type. He always had a ton of friends wherever he went, and he was happy with that. Enemies were few, since he liked to avoid conflict the best that he could. But then he met Rian, and from the start, they clashed. This meant that they could never get along, no matter how hard they tried (not that they tried at all) and that's the end of that. She was the only person he could say he hated, and mean it. He just didn't like her, even if she was really pretty for a girl but you can't depend on that kind of thing for anyone. The pretty ones are always the nasty ones anyway.

The smack on the back of the head was nothing. It made him wince a little, but that's about it, it's not like he screamed "ow" and started bawling on cue. He was used to being smacked around thanks to the bullying that took place in Jr. High and his first few years of high school. Yeah, he got along with people, sure, but there were always those popular jocks who hated the skinny dweebs like him so they got violent. He became immune to it a long time ago. "Your spot? I don't see your name written anywhere," he said back to her, not bothering to control the sarcasm cause around her, he just didn't give a damn. He stood up then, reaching over to her and pulling the remote out of her hand. "You get out, I was watching a show here, so fuck off." He turned back to the TV then, and switched it back to the channel where his show was and flopped back on the couch. Thanks to her, he missed a few minutes of his show. Stupid bitch.

[rian mercedes alvarez]

EXCUSE ME, YOU‘RE TOO BUSY
WRITING YOUR TRAGEDY
these mishaps, the bubble wrap
When you know I do what you like
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God, Martin. If there was one kid in the whole fucking rehab for her to run into, of course it’d have to be him. He was an asshole, and not a pleasant person to be around ever, but today his presence seemed to annoy her even more then it would normally. Why? She hadn’t any idea. It wasn’t as though Martin had done anything to her, or even done anything to deserve her hostile attitude, and yet, just being around him seemed to make her enraged. ”I don’t need to write anything, that is my spot and I want it now.” The words fell scathingly from between her rosy lips, her eyes narrowed dangerously, and her hands clenched into tight fists at her sides. How dare he, who the hell did he think he was? He was no one, he wasn’t worthy of being in her presence, much less to speak to her or touch her. How dare he!

”Give that back. I mean it, I’ll give you until three and then I’m going to start throwing shit.” Rian’s voice remained calm, but her eyes suggested anything but. In her head, she slowly counted backwards from ten, trying to regain control of the “anger issues” her therapist was so fond of pinning onto her. Anger issues, pshhh. If people would just realize how much more right she was then they were, there would be no problems in the world ever. But no, there was always something, always some reason to fly off the handle or some person to try to tell her that she wasn’t good enough. Well fuck them all! Martin wasn’t pushing her around, and neither was anyone else in this godforsaken place. ”I’ve passed ten, and you’re still here. I’m going to kill you.” She lunged across the couch again to snatch the remote from him, shoving him violently into the side of the contraption he was sitting on.

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[martin ignacio cruz]

i am resigned to this wicked fucking world on its way to hell
THE LIVING ARE DEAD AND I HOPE TO JOIN THEM TOO
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It wasn't a usual Martin fact for him to piss anyone off, instead he had always managed to be on the good side of pretty much everyone he's ever met. Aside from those bullies back in junior high, of course, but they didn't like anyone, now did they? Then there was Rian, who just irked him which is why the hidden asshole side of him came out to play in situations like this. It would be best if he could just avoid her entirely cause he didn't like being an angry person, but they shared this rehab and would run into one another on a basic day-to-day basis, so you can't avoid that kind of thing. Unfortunately - life would be so much easier if she wasn't in it. "I don't care if it's your spot or if you want it. I'm sitting here, deal with it." He wasn't going to take her crap today, he was in one of those states where things annoyed him rather quickly, and he was going to have to bust a cap in her ass if she kept acting like a stuck up bitch. She wasn't the shit, sorry.

"Oooh, I'm so scared," he rolled his eyes when she was all "you have until three". Instead he just ignored her, and kept looking at the TV and watching his show. Maybe if he ignored her long enough, she'd go away. Or at least, that's what he was hoping for, but the chances of that actually happening were pretty damn low. If only she would back off for five fucking minutes, and they could actually be civil, but instead she had to act like this, like a stupid bitch. "I'd like to see you try," he laughed, in reference to her "going to kill him". Then she was attacking, and his anger fumed immediately, hence his hands reaching out to shove her back, putting as much strength behind it as he could manage. "FUCK OFF RIAN!" he shouted at her, nostrils flaring and eyes burning a hole in her head.