welcome!

[sully asher marsdon]

After dealing with suits and meetings all day, Ash was wiped. He'd gone in at seven and hadn't gotten done until shortly after six. Needless to say, he was tired. All day, they'd been planning for the upcoming tour with Godsmack and, all day, he'd been on edge. His idols were right there in the room with him, sitting amongst his band members, and they spent the whole day talking about working together. It couldn't get much crazier than that. They'd gone over stage times, set up, equipment, cities, and hotel reservations. Time was running out and they had to make sure that they had everything worked out so that, when the time came for unexpected drama to rise, they would be able to handle it with ease. Even better, and probably easiest, was that they were picking songs from one another so that they would be able to perform them with their touring partners. They were, also, discussing taking a song from another band that they both looked up to and practicing getting the two bands to perform that together. It was like a dream come true! He had never, in a million years, ever thought that he would be doing something like this. More so, he had never thought that he'd be doing it so soon. But, pretty much, that had been his day. Not so say that their day was all work, though...

Mostly, it was a bunch of guys just sitting around to drink and laugh. Ash had left the office with a nice little buzz. The day had even been broken up with the group going out and having lunch at a nearby diner. FTA hadn't been much bothered by people on the street but Sully Erna and the boys had to pause every now and then to speak to a fan or take a picture. Their meal, however, had been taken in the far corner of the building. It was a little darker in this part of the restaurant because there hadn't been as many windows to allow a bit of privacy. There, it was much like the board room - laughter, drinks, and jokes. The only differences, though, were that they had food and talk had moved to more personal conversations. The guys spoke about their other halves, children, hobbies, and favorite television shows. Of course, there were jokes about Ash's link to the barely legal lead singer of Twitch and questions about how his son was now doing. Everything went fairly smooth and the company had picked up the tab for their meal. Who could complain about free food?

After the meeting had ended, everyone decided to go their separate ways. Ash went to the gym that the studio offered. He had to stay in shape and that took a lot of work. It was easier to keep up the cardio because of Levi. Constantly chasing after the boy always had a way of wearing him out. It was the weight lifting that he needed to focus in on. Once done, he had gone to the locker room and showered. By this time, the hour had grown late and his stomach was beginning to protest. It'd been about seven hours since he'd last eaten and it was time he looking into trying that out again. Deciding to call in company, Ash grabbed his cell phone and rang up his brother. They hadn't had much time together for a while. They'd arranged to meet up at How's and grab some food. One on one brother bonding time could be nice. Ash found a place in the middle of the room but against the far wall. It was good enough to keep them from being distracted but still give them a chance to observe those around them without being in the middle of it all. Ash took a seat and ordered a root beer from the waitress, telling her he needed two menus before he could order.

[benji ethan marsdon]

Life had been a bit crazy. Excitement and almost utter disbelief had fallen over the band as their manager had announced to them No Doubt wanted Twitch to open for them during their summer tour. It had been a mad house and things had only gotten crazier from there out. At first it had just been the managers dealing with things but eventually the bands had had to meet, Ben had questioned the ability of the room to stay intact once Willa and Gwen had gotten together and begun speaking. Oddly enough, seeing the two of them together was almost like having a vision of what Willa might be like in fifteen years time. And nothing had been more surreal then when the two women went straight from talking about a possible duet on stage to whether or not their ‘sons’ would enjoy playing together. It was weird to think of his nephew playing with a celeb child that appeared in the newspapers so often, but it was even weirder to hear Willa talk about him as hers. And yet, she spoke about him with the glow of pride and motherly love that it really shouldn’t be as odd as it was. But it was Willa! And she just didn’t look the part of anyone’s mommy, be it step or not. Despite Twitch’s growing popularity since the release of their first single, Ben still felt awed by the presence of such a well known garage band, and had been blown away by getting to speak to Tony and the others. He’d come home from the meeting in a state of high excitement and hadn’t been able to stop talking to Cait about it for hours.

Today had been rehearsals and the beginning of trying to hash out a set list which was surprisingly more difficult than they had originally thought it would be. Nothing seemed to right and Willa was being extremely picky on what song they opened up with first. Plus, she’d decided to bring Levi along with her since Ash was out all day in meetings and the boy, as well as Chomper who he’d brought along with him to the rehearsal room had spent half their time distracting both Ben and Willa. Milo had spent most of his time barking at them to concentrate or sat at his drums just playing and ignoring them if he had too. Ben was worried about his best friend who he was pretty sure was half drunk the entire time. He didn’t know what to do, and it was such a touchy subject with Milo because of everything that had gone down with his dad over the years.

He’d barely gotten home and out of the shower when his brother had phoned. Deciding that they hadn’t spent any one-on-one time together, Ben had kissed Cait good bye and taken off to meet up with Ash. Unlike his sibling who seemed to have the body of a bouncer, Benji was lean and lanky. Though his body was toned, he didn’t really do any sort of exercise outside of skateboarding and playing his guitar. He wasn’t concerned about muscles, he was just happy not to have a got paunch. Dressed in black skinny jeans, black converse, and a black Bad Religion t-shirt, Benji entered Howe’s and scanned the pub for Ash. Spotting him he easily crossed the room and sat down across from him. ”Hey.” He said in way of greeting. ”Dude... You need to talk to your woman, she’s become like, this crazy, OCD, set list Nazi.” Ben tossed his head slightly, forcing straight ironed bangs out of his eyes. ”Seriously, never seen her so stressed over opening song before in my life. She’s almost unbearable.” Willa stressed was almost as bad as Willa hopped up on caffeine. She tended to pace around, tap on things constantly, get terribly scatter brained and tended to shake people, like Benji if he was close enough and not able to provide an answer. He had no idea how many times he’d told her to sit down and try to stop jabbering on nonsensically so that they could actually try and figure things out.

[sully asher marsdon]

Hey! He'd seen some pretty unfit bouncers! Not that he'd ever really cared to compare his body to anyone else. Ash had always just kind of prided himself on being the bigger guy, of being able to hold his own in a fight. He'd been happy to see others be intimidated by him. That was, really, the most of it. Plus, chicks totally dug it. However, it did go to show the contrast between siblings. As if they needed more evidence, right? When his brother joined him, he'd been greeted but hadn't been able to return the greeting. Instead, Ben had throw himself into this tangent about Willa that left Ash chuckling and nodding. "Yeah, I know what you mean. She hasn't been half as much fun at home and Levi is getting kind of scared of her." Fine, he was over exaggerating a little bit but it was amusing! She wasn't as willing to play around when he was in the mood to do so and Levi really was a little more apprehensive when he saw her around papers. He'd made the mistake of spilling juice all over her notebook and her reaction had worried him. She'd freaked out a little but not at him. He just knew that he'd done something bad, though. He knew that Willa wasn't mad with him but he'd done something to upset his Willie and it worried him. He had seen both Willa and Ash cry over him, he didn't want to give them reason to do it again. Ever.

The waitress returned with a flirty grin on her features and asked if the boys would like anything to drink. Ash gave her a smile and asked for a Cherry Pepsi. Once Benji gave his drink order, the waitress bounced off and Sully started flipping through the menu. "I vote we finally put her on some ADD meds but that's just me." One thing was for sure, he was thinking about cutting back on the caffeine that they had in the house. Levi didn't need all of that sugar and those chemicals. Maybe Willa didn't, either. She was already a firecracker but, when stressed, it made things so much worse. Not that it would stop her from going out and buying what she wanted but that was her own deal. She was a grown woman and could make her own decisions but it would be something that they could all do, together. "Aside from the chaos, how's it all going?

[benji ethan marsdon]

Benji cocked a brow at his brother’s statement and then chuckled softly. ”Levi’s scared of her? Is that even possible?” Sure, Willa had her moments but Ben had never really pictured her as scary, well, unless she was yelling at you over something. And Levi adored the girl, so he couldn’t really picture this in his head. Willa and Levi were pretty much a solid unit working in one accord. A specialized terrorizing unit, trained in the art of hyperactive annoyance. They were adorable, but hard on the head. ”Just a regular Pepsi for me please.” He asked of the waitress before returning full attention to the older Marsdon sitting across from him at the table. He snickered. ”Do they make meds strong enough to work on her?” He asked. Ben was more used to Willa’s behaviour then likely anyone else since he’d dealt with her since she was an extremely hyper, high pitched, fourteen year old, frantic ball of energy. But that didn’t mean he didn’t wish he could tune it down on occasion.

Ben had been flipping through his own menu as Ash asked him the next question. And though it was said casually and was directed towards the tour and things, his mind went instantly to something else. Ben’s leg started bouncing under the table, foot going a mile a minute as his knee jumped in the air. His free hand not holding the menu began drumming fingers on the table in an antsy, I’ve got something on my mind sort of way. Ben had never been very good at being the strong silent type. Usually if there was something on his mind he was wearing it on his face. He’d always been the wear your heart on your sleeve type kid. With a sigh he looked up at Ash. ”Preps for the tour are amazing, couldn’t be better really. Getting a chance to talk with Tony Kanal and Tom Dumont has been beyond great. The whole band’s got such great stage presence it’ll be so worth it just to be around them and take some of it in.” There was excitement and happiness in his tones, but there was something in his eyes that belied trouble. Slumping back against the seat, Ben turned to look out towards the rest of the pub his eyes seeing it, but not really taking it in. Beneath the table his leg continued to bounce and his fingers kept up their steady rhythm on the table top. He had been trying not to think about it, in fact, he’d been downright ignoring it. Even when he and Cait were alone and she’d hint at wanting to discuss it, he would do anything he could not to let them go there. He was breaking inside, one large disbelieving chunk at a time. It was still so impossible to even imagine, and yet she was wanting him to see it for truth. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He loved her, how could that not be enough? When had it stopped being enough? Finally he looked back at Ash. ”Cait’s going back to Hawaii.” He said the words flatly, as if his mouth found them distasteful and didn’t want to form them. He had to look away, sniffing and clearing his throat because saying it out loud made him want to weep like a baby.

[sully asher marsdon]

Ash laughed and nodded. "He spilled juice on her notebook and she got a little... excited. You know her, thinking out loud about how urgent it was to get it dry before things were lost. Levi thought she was yelling at him and got a little freaked out. He thought he'd done something really bad. She's made it really clear to him that it wasn't him and she wasn't mad but he is still a little nervous when he sees her with the notebook. Had he been a year or two older, I think he would have known that she wasn't even mad, just worried." Levi still didn't understand the different forms of worry. He'd thought the worst when he'd seen Ash and Willa cry when they'd finally found him. Kids his age weren't going to understand and it was fine. He knew Willa loved him but he'd been so worried, himself, that he'd done something to make her unhappy with him. He'd nearly died the day he'd explained the difference between like and love. He loved his daddy, all the time. He just only liked him when he got cookies. So, for a while, Levi worried that she didn't like him but he was past that, now. He knew better. Sully gave a thoughtful look for a moment and shrugged. "Elephant tranqs?"

Ash eyed his brother. He knew the kid long enough to see that something wasn't going well but, as Ben started talking about the tour, he felt that he was wrong. Everything sounded like it was going fine but Ben just couldn't seem to be able to keep himself under control without fidgeting. He wasn't the kind of guy to tell him to spill it and tell him what was really going on but darn it all if he wouldn't get to the bottom of what was up. He kept a steady gaze on his brother, waiting for the boy to cough it up so that he didn't have to come right out and ask for it. Let's face it, there were just some things that would never change and crying over a tub of ice cream was one of them. His words brought the entire situation into focus and he sat up to lean against the table on his forearms. Will hadn't mentioned any of this to him. What was going on, here? "Why? For how long?" Was she going to come back or just leave his brother like he was nothing. Ash would never hit a girl but he'd be sure to find some chick that was willing to do it for him. No one hurt his brother and this girl... She was Benji's Willa. If Ash ever lost that woman, he'd be crushed and, so, he could imagine what it was like for his brother. He'd have to go home and see if Willa knew anything about this.

[benji ethan marsdon]

Benji grinned to himself, perfectly capable of picturing just that sort of scene in his head. Willa was definitely the excitable type and to be honest, so was Levi. Put the two of the together and it was pure craziness. Put a freaking out Willa with a little boy wanting nothing to please and there could be some disaster. ”I always wondered if Willa and kids really meshed.” He stated with a joking smirk. Benji snickered softly and nodded. ”That might be strong enough to do it.” Even though Ash and Willa had been together long enough now to make it feel like forever, Ben still had those moments when it was almost hard to picture. To look across the table and see his brother, and then to picture his best friend, the two didn’t seem to fit. Yet, to see them together left no doubt that there was no other person in this world for either of them. He might never fully understand it, but at least he was able to happily accept it now.

As Ash leaned forward on the table Benji sighed and returned his eyes to focus on his brother. He hadn’t spoken about this to anyone, but Ash seemed to be the right fit. Maybe because he knew his brother would be a mess were he ever to lose Willa. Though his brother would clearly handle such a situation much different then Benji would, the two of them still cared very deeply. Ben shrugged, hands resting flat on top of the table but fingers occasionally drumming. ”I dunno. I asked her to come on tour with me like she did last time and she said no. That she was going home to Hawaii.” He sighed and lifted a hand to brush straight-ironed bangs out of his eyes. ”And I can’t talk to her about it. Or I haven’t wanted to in case it’s a permanent thing.” He swallowed forcing down the lump in his throat that wanted to rise up. He almost became frantic when he even thought about it. No Cait? Not waking up to his Kitty Cat in the morning? Not holding her tight to him when he went to sleep at night? She was half his reason for getting out of bed in the morning and pretty much one of the only things that could force him to put down his guitar in the middle of a practice or jam session. She was the first girl Benji had every truly loved, and it had practically been love at first sight. Ben wanted her on tour with him so badly. He didn’t want to be separated for four months when there was no reason to be. And since there was no reason for her to say no, all he could conclude was that she didn’t want to be with him anymore. That first it would be no to the tour and then she would simply fade out of his life. He didn’t want that. More than anything he didn’t want that. Clearing his throat once more so that he wouldn’t look like a complete knob and cry in front of his brother or some other horribly embarrassing girly reaction, Ben forced himself into a straight sitting position and cracked his neck. ”I just... I don’t know what I did Ash. Things have been great. I mean... It’s me an’Cait. We don’t hardly even fight.” He suddenly got a worried look in his eyes. ”Is that the problem? Is that a sign? We don’t fight, maybe she doesn’t care enough too fight.” He was just musing out loud now. With a heavy groan of frustration, Benji leaned forward on his elbows and threaded his fingers through his hair, clutching at his head.

[sully asher marsdon]

Ash wasn't used to that sort of thing. Ben hadn't been that hyper as a kid and he didn't think that he had ever been. For him, it had always been about being laid back and relaxed and just taking things in stride, easy. Now, he had two people that he lived with and were more than a handful for him but he wouldn't change it for a second. He was pleased with how they were. "Are you serious? Willa is a little kid's best dream! She'd be the one to suggest a race to the monkey bars and ask to be dared to climb a tree." How wouldn't she be good with kids? To be honest, it was still a little difficult for him to understand how it seemed to work for the two of them. He still couldn't see the tiny girl with the giant of a man that he was. To think that he was dating his brother's best friend was also a little weird. He still laughed when he saw pictures of them together. It wasn't something he did in front of too many people but he always thought that they made a funny looking couple. Sure, they were both really good looking but they were looked funny as hell together.

"Shit, man." Ash sighed and ran a hand over his head. This was just not good in any way. Didn't Cait realize that he was moving to Detroit to be better? He was realizing his dreams and she couldn't be there for him or give him a reason as to why. It was incredibly pathetic. Give him five minutes in a locked room with her and see if he didn't straighten her out... No, he wouldn't hit her but he'd talk some serious sense into her. She'd at least tell his brother why she was being such a bitch to him when he was done with her. He kept his mouth shut, though. He didn't want his brother to be even more upset by something that he did. He just wanted the man to be happy. Instead, though, he was left to silence and bit his tongue so that he didn't hurt his brother with the hurtful words he had for his so called girlfriend. No one hurt his family and it was obvious that he was in serious pain over this. He shrugged and played with the wrapper of his straw that he'd removed from the plastic tubing. "Ever thought about fighting with her? I mean, so much shit can some out when you're shouting at someone. Start a fight and you might get to hear what's up her a... what's up with her." It wasn't the best idea but it was the best that he could come up with.

[benji ethan marsdon]

Ben thought about it and then nodded, shrugging his shoulders a little. ”Okay you’re right... When it comes to playing Willa’d totally rock in a little kid’s eyes. Guess I was thinking about the disciplining, making them eat their veggies sort of deal.” He shrugged again. ”But she must do something right, Levi loves her.” Which was the truth, his nephew had certainly taken to the woman who was his father’s girlfriend. Which was a good thing since Ash and Willa lived together and seemed to be a forever sort of package.

Forever. That’s what he’d thought he and Cait had. From the minute he’d laid eyes on Caitlin something had connected to her. There was a very large piece of Benji that was Cait’s and would always be Cait’s. She was his first love, and as he felt right now, his only love. Which was making this so difficult. He just couldn’t understand how she might very well want to turn her back on all of this. Hadn’t he done everything he could to make her happy? To wait on her time so that she was ready? They’d been together for a year before they’d ever had sex, and that was after living together for several months. He’d been what he’d that was the epitome of the perfect boyfriend. Maybe that’s why this wasn’t working out. Maybe if he wasn’t such a girl his girlfriend would want to stay with him. Maybe if he manned up she’d be able to respect him enough to want to stay with him. Ben just looked at him and shook his head. ”I can’t bring myself to do it... To yell at her, or say half of the stuff I wanna.” See? He was a girl. He couldn’t even stand up for himself in his relationship. The problem was, he loved Caitlin so much that he couldn’t bear to do anything that might possibly hurt her, even if it was killing him not to. Ben sat back, looking away from his brother and sighing a bit. Clearing his throat a little he looked back at his brother. ”How’re things going for your tour prep?” He asked, needing to change the topic before the blockage in his throat turned into tears. That was the last thing he wanted. To cry in front of his brother and prove even more just how much of a girl he was.

[sully asher marsdon]

Ash shrugged in consideration and nodded with a small chuckle. "Yeah, you're right about that one. It's kind of like good parent, bad parent and guess which role I get." Not that he resented that fact. Levi loved both of them and he did as he was told, Ash was just the enforcer of rules while Willa just got to do the fun stuff. Not that he expected her to take on more of a role than she already had. Levi wasn't hers and it said something about her part in this relationship if she was able to be so young and date a guy with a kid. He just hoped Willa was okay with that. Levi had taken to her and was even calling her Mom when he was sleepy, sick, or just not in his usual mood. It also happened in moments of joy and he had something to tell her. Ash couldn't explain it but he was pretty sure Levi was starting to forget his mother and adopting a new one. He didn't mind because that meant that his son would be moving on and not have to go through his childhood and think that he was in a broken home but he didn't want to push Willa into something she wouldn't like. She didn't need to feel obligated to do anything when it came to that. It was a little late about the name, though. They probably would have had to nip that in the butt a while ago.

Nothing was forever, it would seem. How many times had he thought about sure things and they'd turned around to fail him? He had given up betting on sure things, anymore. He made his own forevers and put them on his body. Those were the only forevers he'd be guaranteed. If Ben and Cait's relationship wouldn't work out, what did that mean for Willa and Sully? Ben was far better with this relationship thing than he was and his had gone awry. Not that it was his fault, stuff happened, people changed but this? This was epic and huge and entirely confusing. "You think letting her go without a fight will make this better? Just letting her go, just like that? Wouldn't it be better to let her know you want her and, therefore, are willing to take a stand about this?" To just let her go off would look like he didn't care and didn't see the point in fighting; if there was one thing Ash had learned in his years, if something meant anything to you, you fought for it. Ash sighed and shrugged. Fine, he wanted to change the topic, they'd change the topic. "Not too bad. Erna and I are working on some mash ups and other songs that we can do that aren't our own. Sweet enough that we get to tour with these dudes but they want us to perform with them." It was like a dream come true. He felt like a little kid on Christmas and it was rare for him to feel that way, anymore.