The rules are simple - you search for the following, then post the first full sentence result you get.

So, you google the following:

"<character's full name>"
"<character> needs"
"<character> looks like"
"<character> says"
"<character> wants"
"<character> does"
"<character> hates"
"<character> asks"
"<character> likes"
"<character> eats"
"<character> wears"
"<character> was arrested for"
"<character> loves"

Alaina Jones is on Facebook. (A fraud I tell you!)

Alaina needs a middle name. (No thanks.)

Alaina looks like a Pokémon. (Don't ask... Just don't.)

Alaina says her performances are not as effortless as they look! (*counts*)

Alaina wants to be a model. (When hell freezes over)

Alaina does not grind my gears. (....)

Alaina hate it When I make a fan page about her for some reason... (Peoples are not supposed to know who and what I am.)

Alaina asks if she can go get her family. (That's just rubbish. I'm perfectly fine on my own.)

Alaina likes non alcoholic drinks, Spanish cuisine, tulips and ballet. (ummm 1/4. Guess which one.)

Alaina eats way too much peanut butter on her bread. (Peanut butter jelly time!)

Alaina wears simple clothes. (Why waste money?)

Alaina was arrested for Assault. (He asked for it!)

Alaina loves me boxer shorts. (Just a bad joke.)

Rejoignez Facebook pour rentrer en contact avec Gabriel Samedi (Gabriel Samedi) et d'autres personnes que vous pourriez connaître.

Gabriel Needs Some!

Gabriel: "Looks like an ad for wine."

Gabriel Says No to Genesis Rock Hall Reunion. (why people keep confusing me with that bloke is beyond me.)

Gabriel wants a wife. (I do? Well, erm. Perhaps. Maybe. Yeah. ... no, not really.)

Gabriel does the ChosMan sign. (I did the what?)

Gabriel hates my friends.

Gabriel asks the brothers how they figured out.

I hope Gabriel likes my music.

Gabriel eats sweet potatoes.

Gabriel Wears His RIOT Shirt Proudly. (It's an old photo, hush.)

Gabriel was arrested for criminal trespass and buying selling giving alcohol to a minor. (It was a LONG time ago and it was during Carnival and we were all stoned.)

Gabriel loves pointing out pregnant women. (Only when we'd wanted children! I was trying to explain to my wife that pregnant women were still lovely.)

For Grey, who refuses to go by his first name:
Anthony Grey OBE (5 July 1938 - ) is a British journalist and author.

Grey needs more love. (No, I need more gin.)

Grey looks like simon pegg's doppleganger. (And Simon Pegg looks like a pile of hammers.)

Grey says we can avoid aging. (It's called death.)

Grey Wants to Set Green Example on Madison Ave. (Destroy idiots, not trees.)

Grey does matter.

Crying Glenn Beck - Grey hates me. ('Hate' is not strong enough.)

White Boot Screen Dims to Grey, asks for reboot. (I think you have me confused with a shoe shop.)

Grey Likes Weddings. (about as much as I enjoy drinking boric acid)

My New Grey Eats Raw... but his appetite is changing lately...? (The Rat isn't as picky as I am.)

Grey Wears Interview. (...)

Grey was arrested for strangulation and third degree domestic assault. (My second wife claimed I did it, but the charges were dropped.)

Grey loves Yellow.

Lucy Circe Davenport always loved dance.
Lucy needs a Valentine.
Lucy looks like a Brooklyn hipster.
Lucy says "Why don't you find out."
Lucy wants to kill herself.
Lucy does a TV Commercial.
Lucy hates winter.
Lucy asks for the will.
Lucy likes to dress up
Lucy eats apples
Lucy wears a chicken apron
Lucy was arrested for watching the act and sent to juvenile hall.
Lucy loves fabric.

"Evie Blake Willoughby (Evie (Blake) Willoughby)'s profile on Myspace, the leading social entertainment destination powered by the passion of our fans."

"Evie needs to be nerfed"

"My evie looks like a businesswoman"

"Eviesays.com aggregates event and entertainment listings so that you will know what is happening around you."

"Welcome to a Facebook Page about What Evie Wants."

"Does your iPhone go everywhere you do? That's why we created Evie—our newest iPhone Voice App."

"Welcome to the Facebook Community Page about Evie Hates Winter, a collection of shared knowledge concerning Evie Hates Winter."

"Evie asks Daniel to move in."

"Evie likes ketchup."

"Welcome to a Facebook Page about Evie Eats Everything. "

"Adorable vinyl baby doll Evie wears a classic elephant "sock doll" of blue and white yarn, complete with floppy ears, a trunk and "googly" eyes"

"Evie is arrested for his murder, and the only one who believes in her innocence is Peter's best friend."

"Evie Loves-Tequila is on Facebook."

Timothy Peter "Tim" Johnson (born December 28, 1946) is the senior U.S. Senator from South Dakota, serving since 1997.

Add your own comments to "Mr. Tim Johnson needs to shave.

Tim Johnson looks like a real happy man.

Tim Johnson says he'll hold a hearing on the more than $12M in bonuses approved for top execs at Fannie & Freddie.

Tim Johnson Wants In.

Tim Johnson does talk a good game on student loans, but he voted earlier this year to increase the interest rate.

Tim Johnson's review of Who Hates Whom.

Tim Johnson asks FEMA to extend claims deadline.

Here are all the videos Tim Johnson likes.

Tim Johnson Eats Cats.

Tim Johnson Wears suspenders then I would also fully spell out suspended.

Shawn J (real name Shawn Timothy Johnson) was arrested in Jacksonville last week and charged with carrying a concealed fire arm and resisting arrest.

Tim Johnson LOVES boys. ;)

The first dancer to bring me upstairs was Nolan and I had the time of my life, I ... I was just at Remington's during Pride on the sunday and i must say that i had a very ...

Nolan needs a drink

Nolan looks like he's in the lead

Nolan says ‘Inception’ is ‘the biggest challenge I’ve taken on.'

Nolan wants more commitment from his players

Nolan does Superman... and Justice League?

Nolan hates robot baseball

Nolan asks “Can Deaf People Serve in the Military?”

Nolan likes to keep us in suspense

Nolan eats copious amounts of candy and soda to stay healthy and strong for the rigors of the skate season.

Nolan wears many hats

Nolan was arrested for spraying graffiti

Nolan loves telling stories

Gemma Taylor dancing like a nobhead.

Gemma needs hugs and good thoughts.

Gemma looks like Meg Griffin from Family guy.

Gemma says no.

Gemma wants a puppy.

Gemma 'does a Myleene' and strips off to reveal skimpy bikini.

Gemma hates Santa.

Gemma asks her boyfriend Danny and his media student mate Nathan
to film her Big Brother audition.

Gemma likes Sherlock.

Gemma eats fish custard.

Gemma wears little and no makeup and she still looks beautiful and lovely.

Gemma was arrested for soliciting.

Gemma loves Ozzy.

Logan Blaise is on Facebook :P

Logan Blaise needs much more deliberation.

Logan Blaise looks like he would want flowers.

Logan Blaise says: "My own kids are afraid of me. I'm no better then Potter was."

Logan Blaise wants to get out of the trap.

Logan Blaise does not exist yet.

Logan Blaise hates bad fanfiction and forced gay ships.

Logan Blaise asks guy friends to give their opinions on a few lady-specific fashions.

Logan Blaise likes southern names.

Logan Blaise eats rainbows.

Logan Blaise wears Abercrombie jeans and no shirt.

Logan Blaise was arrested for on charge of burglary of a building, Aug. 24, 2011

Logan Blaise loves you very much!