Tokusei Insanity!, Let the insanity... commence!

[Kai Yamato]

New Years Special 2009
*Kai walks in stage, speaking in the pic*
Kai: Testing… Testing… *Audio box screeches* Alright, here goes. 1… 2… 3… Welcome! It’s New Years Eve with Tokusei Insanity!
*Cricket chirps*
Kai: Eh?
*Ryusuke and Shoku are the only ones in the audience*
Shoku: *Asleep* Zzzzz… Zzzzz… Zzzzzzz…
Ryusuke: We’re the only ones here, dood.
Kai: But… Argh! You know what, I’ll just go with the commentary!
Ryusuke: Commentary? No reviewing the year?
Kai: Pft. We’ll leave the reviewing to Tokusei Review.
Ryusuke: But we only did the segment once. Besides, are you doing this just to fuel your ego?
Kai: Enough! We’ll talk about behind the scenes of Tokusei Insanity, starting now!
*Slideshow*
Kai: Tokusei Insanity as it was formerly known by the half-assed title, “We don’t need no damn title!” Before deciding on the title of Tokusei Insanity, it was untitled but Twi, wherever he is now, in IM once suggested it. So I thought it’ll do and make a decent title before I decide to make its title as Tokusei Insanity. The title was chosen because it was originally posted in Tokusei and the name “Insanity” was derived from my previous humor fic, Wacko Battles Insanity. I considered Tokusei Insanity a “spiritual sequel” of sorts to it. That and along with the pilot SPP Meets IRL can be found on the old forums I use to go to.
Drei: I can give ya the link if ya want.
Kai: DO NOT SHOW IT! Anyways, my humor fic started with SPP Meets IRL, which has my online friends as characters in some plot watching after the owner’s mansion and dealing with the ghost that dwells within it. Of course, it ended with the mansion destroyed. Some of the people who were featured in there doesn’t seem to be active online anymore. *Laughs*
Drei: Angel… =<
Kai: Moving on to Wacko Battles Insanity, at that time I use to be part of an RPing group called Wacko Battles and its members were referred as the Wacko Warriors. As the title implies it has them in it engage in episodic plots. Then I was struck by hiatus and I was kicked out because I was a HUGE dumbass back then. Though I later reconcile with them and things are okay. Hopefully.
Yorei: What was that?
Kai: Nothing.
Yorei: Okay. *Leaves*
Kai: My first writing was a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic with Hikaru no Go characters. I don’t need to say anything of how terrible it was.
Ryusuke: Couldn’t be any worse than mine.
Kai: Maybe, maybe not. I’ve been trying to write a better Yu-Gi-Oh fic but I couldn’t think of anything for the plot and most of the stuff has been overdone to death. So I simply gave up and move on to originals. Though I have yet to make any progress in Panzer and Hellbound much like Ryu did with Eve of Fire.
Ryusuke: Hey!
Kai: Of course, the characters that made appearance in the fic are from mentioned series, plus Ryu’s Eve of Fire. See? Look over them there. *Points to next screen where Alba, Seth, Cain, and Hellfriede are seen waving*
Hellfriede: Are you going to work on my series- *Anvil falls on him* @_@
Kai: *Has pushed the “Shut the hell up” button*
Seth and Alba: O_O *Steps back*
Cain: Heh.
Kai: So yeah, I made passing references to these works. Anyways, after Wacko Battles Insanity, I’ve been trying to think up something to write a humor fic but I was still stuck with hiatus until 2007, where it was finally conceived. It originally started as a fantasy adventure RPG parody then I feel I want to go back to the episodic plots and ended that plot immediately. Though it would’ve been much fun if I had extended it any longer. *Laughs* Then writing after chapter 6 went up and down due to my confusion of the direction for the humor fic. ^^; I must be too serious about this than my original works.
Seth: I’ll say. *Gets hit by anvil* @_@
Kai: I did the Halloween Special with huge reference to my past works, but my regret is that I never manage to finish the Thanksgiving and due to college work and not enough time to work on it. Next chapter was pushed back because of this. So I’m forced to save the Thanksgiving Special for next year. It’ll be hard to write new chapters now that I’m in college. I failed two of my classes. Can you believe that?
Alba: If only you were more responsible, you would’ve- *Gets hit by anvil* Ow.
Kai: The characters who have appeared in the fic are mixed representation of their respective fictional characters and their real life selves. Though it’s difficult to keep everyone in character but I also have problems with Drei and Kohji since they change their stuff all the time.
Drei: Meh.
Kohji: We get it.
Kai: *Dryly* I’m glad you understand. Characters created for the fic are obvious parodies themselves or were thought on the spot. Ryu and Irandomly thought up Robot Jack Sparrow in IM. Illinois Smith is an obvious parody of Indiana Jones. “Villain” is a parody of the archetypical villain. Evil Writer’s Block of Doom… No need to say more. It’s one of the best things I ever thought of for a humor fic. Some villains of the chapter have iconic deaths as some sort of meaning of irony or for the sake of humor. For example, Villain died by a cheap shot. And Evil Writer’s Block of Doom managed to disable the characters’ powers yet still died because of his lack of ability to do anything. Though I didn’t really think it that way. It just came. The majority of the villains made for the fic are below average hence the characters aren’t really fighting at their fullest. My favorite chapter would have to be chapters six since it did made a lot of people laugh more than the others. My least favorite chapters is of course, the one I didn’t put much time and effort on. Though my last chapter didn’t do half so bad either.
Cain: Everything you done are half-assed.
Kai: *Presses button*
Cain: *Dodges anvil*
Kai: *Presses button again*
Ryusuke: *Anvil falls on him* Oro? @_@
Kai: *Presses button again* … *Looks up and gets hit by anvil* Ow… Okay, I think I gotta stop talking since I’ll be dragging on like this for the rest of the special. The next chapter will have to do with the Wacko Battles group I use to be part of. Yorei didn’t mind if I put them in it. So that’s pretty much it. What I’ll hope for the next year is less death and hopefully things get patched up. Oh and be more responsible in whatever I do. We’d like to honor those who has died this year and brought us wonderful time.
Ryusuke: Why must they die young? ;_; Consolations to the family too.
Kai: And we’ll have America’s first black President taking office sometime in February.
Ryusuke: I wonder if he can actually keep up to his promises.
Kai: We’ll see about that. *Looks at watch* Welp, we’re about out of time. And in several seconds, it’ll be a dawn of a new year. What challenges awaits us. Ready for the countdown, Ryu?
Ryusuke: You bet.
Kai and Ryusuke: …10! …9! …8! …7! …6! …5! …4! …3! …2! …1!
Kai: *Jumps*
Ryusuke: Why’d you jump?
Kai: It is said that if you jump, you’ll grow to the height of that jump.
Ryusuke: Aw, I should’ve done that.
Kai: Not like it’s always true.
Ryusuke: Then why’d you do it anyways?
Kai: Umm… Well, that’s it, folks. Happy New Years! Happy 2009, everybody! And goodnight!
*End*

[Kai Yamato]

Yes, I know. Another holiday special. New chapter is still in progress.

Valentine’s Special 2009
*Valentine’s Day… A holiday of love, where couples hang out and- You know what? It’s a godddamn hallmark’s holiday! No need to say more. Anyways, our gang is wrapping up some case they were hired to help in. Don’t know why.*
Kai: Thanks to our analysis. You see, this man has become aware of his daughter’s fiancée has a criminal background. So he decides to turn him into a scapegoat for all of the crimes that’s been happening lately in order to get rid of him.
Officer: … So who’s the one been committing all of the murders of young women and cutting their hearts out?
Kai: Oh… That. We really haven’t figured it out.
Everyone: WHAT?!
*A woman’s screams are heard nearby*
Kai: Oh, what do you know? He’s not too far. *Runs off*
*We now shift to the next scene in the room with a man wielding a knife and a tied up woman who’s already horribly mutilated*
Murderer: Don’t worry now. Pretty soon it’s going to be over.
*Suddenly a door is kicked down, hitting the murderer*
Murderer: Agh! What the?! Who the hell do you think you are?!
Kai: Just your unfriendly neighborhood wanting to collect his reward to pay all of his debts and stuff.
Murderer: *Takes out gun and points it at woman* Don’t move, one step and she dies!
Woman: *Muffled* Mmmph!
Kai: Okay. *Suddenly dashes in front of him, cutting off his arm holding the gun*
Murderer: Argh!!! What the hell?! You can’t just cut someone’s arm like that!
Kai: Says the one who’s been cutting hearts out of people. *Kicks him into the window*
Murderer: Ahhhh! *Crashes into the car*
Kai: There we go. No damage done aside from a horribly mutilated woman who’s barely alive.
Woman: *Muffled* You asshole!
Ryusuke: *Looks over window to see the murderer’s body twitching* Did you just killed our bounty?
Kai: Oh don’t worry. He’s just physically disabled, now.
Ryusuke: I think he’s dead.
Kai: Well, he was probably going to get a death sentence anyways.
Drei: We were supposed to get him alive, you moron.
Kohji: That’s another job you messed up.
Kai: … *Laughs nervously* No worries, we probably got another job coming. Moving on now. There’s nothing to see here, people!
Woman: *Muffled* Mmmmph! Mmmmph!
Ryusuke: Shouldn’t we help her?
Kai: Oh don’t worry, the police and ambulance will arrive anyways.
Ryusuke: She’s gonna die by the time they get here.
Kai: Devil may care, buddy. Now let’s scoot.
Woman: *Muffled* Mmmph!
*At the café*
Ryusuke: Well we did nothing to get paid other than caused more loss of lives.
Drei: Well that’s Kai’s fault.
Kohji: Where the hell is he?
Kai: Yo guys. *Walks in, eating heart-shaped candies*
Ryusuke, Drei, and Kohji: …
Kohji: Kai, what are you doing?
Kai: What? These are good.
Ryusuke: You fool! It’s what they wanted you to do!
Kai: So?
Drei: Just throw away the candy.
Kai: Make me. *Gets dogpiled*
*Unknown to them all, there’s a mystical force that wants to promote this supposed “love-filled holiday.” A twisted, evil force unlike it… Oh dear lord.*
Cupid 1: Awww… Isn’t it nice?
Cupid 2: But there isn’t enough love in this world. No one knows what love really is! To them it’s just about sex!
Cupid 1: Maybe we should use our arrows to fill it with more love? *Takes out bow and arrows*
Cupid 2: Yes, let’s shall. *Takes out bow and arrows* *Giggles evilly*
*Back in the café, they finally managed to get rid of the heart-shaped candies*
Kai: You didn’t need to do that.
Ryusuke: It’s for your best, dood.
Kohji: Something’s going on outside.
*They went outside to see the ruckus and much to surprise, it’s a lovefest, with each couples making out intensely*
Kai: Well… You don’t see this everyday.
Ryusuke: You saying that is a sign that we’re being dragged into some random plot.
Drei: Look out!
*They dodge something flying at them as it hit a wall*
Ryusuke: An arrow?
Cupid 1: Oh not just any arrow! A love arrow!
Cupid 2: Aw. I can’t believe I missed!
Kai: Cupids?
Cupid 1: That’s right, we’re gonna fill the world with love!
Drei: Why bother? They’re just gonna break up one day.
Cupid 1: Oh that’s going to be changed. We’re gonna make sure love is everywhere!
Kai: Oh my god, it appears we’re dealing with a couple of corrupt cupids here.
Ryusuke: No kidding!
Cupid 2: *Aims* Now hold still, it won’t hurt at all.
Kai: Oh come on now. There are four of us. What are the chances of you actually shooting us?
Cupid 1: Hmm… You’re right. Here, use this! *Gives what appears to be a machine gun*
Cupid 2: Oh sweet!
Kai, Ryusuke, Drei, and Kohji: O_O;
Kohji: Damn it, Kai!
Kai: Hey… I’d like to be single. I don’t care about love and all of that stuff.
Cupid 1: I’m afraid we can’t allow that. Everyone in the world must be in love!
Cupid 2: Ready… aim… fire!
Kai: Run!
*They run away as it fired on them*
Cupid 2: Aw, they ran away.
Cupid 1: Don’t worry. We’ll deal with them later. We got work to do. *Flies away*
Cupid 2: Yeah! *Flies away*
*Meanwhile*
Kai: That was close.
Ryusuke: What are we going to do now?
Drei: Why are we treating this as if it’s difficult? I mean we have powers and all. And we can deal with these below average everyday villains with no problem ourselves.
Kai: Well, that wouldn’t make any fun. I got a plan. We’ll squirt lemons in our eyes! And use a mop as a weapon!
Kohji: … That only works in the Ed, Edd n’ Eddy cartoon.
Kai: *Already has brought himself a pair of lemons* … Aw. *Tosses them away* Well, new plan.
*With the cupids*
Cupid 1: *Sees a gay couple and a lesbian couple* No no no no! That’s all wrong!
Cupid 2: Should we fix it?
Cupid 1: Yes, we should. *Shoots arrows at them, making the couples go with each other*
Kai: Your love-filling days are over!
Cupid 1: … *Burst into laughter* What is that supposed to be?!
*They’re wielding trash bins as shields*
Kohji: This is your plan?
Drei: Did anyone ever tell you that you’re a retard?
Kai: Yes. But hey, that’s all I could think of. What we’re going to do is deflect their arrows at them, since they’re already filled with love, they’ll be overloaded with it and then explode!
Ryusuke: That plan… defies every inch of logic in there.
Cupid 1: Oh and did you know? Our love arrows can go through objects!
Kai: … Crap.
Cupid 1: Fire away!
Cupid 2: Yes sir! *Shoots*
Kai, Ryusuke, Drei, and Kohji: Ahhhh! *Runs and dodges*
Kohji: Did you not rethink this?!
Kai: Well excuse me if I’m obviously low on ideas in this special for me to come up with a plan stupid as this.
Ryusuke: Oh wait. I’m a phantom! I can get away! *Turns invisible and disappears*
Kohji: … He ditched us.
Kai: … Oh yeah, it’s good to have a good friend like him.
Cupid 2: Aw. One of them got away.
Cupid 1: Who cares? We still got the others where we want them! Keep firing!
Kai: *Trips on a rock* Oh shit.
Cupid 1: Yes! One of them is down! Shoot them while he’s down!
Drei: It’s nice knowing you while you’re single!
Kai: Screw you!
Cupid 2: *Shoots arrow*
Kai: *Gets hit* Ahhh!!!
Kohji: …
Drei: …
Cupid 1: …
Cupid 2: …
Kai: Hm? Oh hey it didn’t do anything to me.
Cupid 1: What’s going on here?! How come it didn’t work?!
Cupid 2: I don’t know, they don’t seem to have any effect.
Cupid 1: Who cares?! Let’s fire everything we got!
*They frantically fires all of their arrows they got at him, of course, they still have no effect on him*
Kai: .. *Sighs* *Swings blade, hitting them with a wave of red energy in the air*
Cupid 1 and Cupid 2: Ahhhh!!! *Falls* *Thud* *Sees Kai standing over them* Have mercy!
Kai: *Traps them in a jar* Hah! My cynicism is too powerful for your love arrows!
Cupid 1: Get us out of here at once!
Cupid 2: This is not good!
Kai: Not a chance. *Shakes jar*
Cupid 1 and Cupid 2: Ahhh!!!
Drei: So what are we going to do with them?
Kai: I dunno. We could kill them. But that would be too overkill. Hmm… I got it!
*Back at the café*
Ryusuke: I hope you’re not mad at me for ditching you.
Kai: Of course not. I can just release all of that repressed anger at you by beating you in Brawl.
Ryusuke: If you can beat me.
Kai: You’re on!
Kohji: This is going to be a long day. >_>;
Kai: *Shrugs* Well, those love arrows will probably wear off. Hopefully.
Ryusuke: So, what did you do with those cupids?
Kai: Somewhere where they’ll never be found.
*Cue scene in the warehouse with all the crates from Raiders of the Lost Ark*
Ryusuke: That gag has been overdone to death!
Kai: Fine, what I actually did to them is that I tossed them into the furnace at the dumpster where they scream in agonizing pain as they get burned to death.
Ryusuke: … That was too brutal, dood.
Kai: I know. That’s humor for ya. *Sips drink*
*End*
*… Or is it?*
*Doorbell*
Kai: *Opens door* *Sees a line of holiday figures namely a leprechaun, an Easter bunny, a soccer mom, a father wearing a business suit, Uncle Sam, Vietnam War veterans, and… what appears to be Christopher Columbus* …
Working Father: Hello there, Kai Yamato, is it?
Kai: Yes…?
Working Father: *Pushes glasses* We are here to file a complaint.
Easter Bunny: Yeah! Halloween and Christmas all big but what about Easter, man?!
Kai: So?
Easter Bunny: It’s a Christian holiday!
Kai: So how does rabbits and dying eggs have something to do with Christianity?
Easter Bunny: Err… Funny thing is this.
Leprechaun: How about ol’ St. Patrick’s Day? Surely everyone just dresses up in green and pinch each other. But it’s a big holiday in Ireland!
Kai: Well, this is America. Deal with it.
Leprechuan: Erm… Well… We drink rum?
Soccer Mom: Oh no no no, alcohol isn’t just plain good for the kids. Deary, I hope you understand of how much mothers do for their families and how a lot of people dedicate their time helping their mothers and being grateful for what they do. You understand, don’t you?
Veteran: We deserve the respect for what the hell we did for our country! I mean I had to suffer in that prison in Japan back at World War II! You see what I’m getting at?!
Veterans: Yeah!
Uncle Sam: Independence’s Day is a day where Americans had found independence from the British. Doesn’t that mean enough for you?
Columbus: And Columbus’ Day! The day I found America!.
Working Father: Technically speaking, Columbus. The Vikings found America LONG before you. And you practically caused the decline in population to the Natives there.
Easter Bunny: Yeah! So, get out of here, Columbus. You don’t deserve to have your own holiday.
Columbus: =_=;
Kai: … *Walks off*
Working Father: You see? It’s all about diplomacy, we don’t need to solve this by violent matters-
Easter Bunny: Oh my god! He got a gun!
Working Father: You got to be…
Kai: Get the hell off of my property! *Shoots*
*Everyone but Columbus who got shot runs away*
Kai: And don’t come back. *Slams door*
Columbus: Oh… Can someone call 911? Please? *Silence* Hello?
*End*

[Gemini]

wow....that's funny....=)

[Kai Yamato]

Kai: After a series of holiday specials, here it is! The new chapter! This chapter will revisit my past with the Wacko Battles.
Shoku: So what was it like? ^n.n^
Kai: Erm… Well... Funny thing is this-
Drei: Kai was an annoying newb.
Kohji: Who thinks he’s the god of creativity and thought up so many transformations.
Kai: *Grabs them by the collars* You two, come with me.
*Few minutes, they’re seen tied up in the cart*
Kai: *Kicks cart down the hill*
Kohji and Drei: AHHHHH!!!!
Ryusuke: Did you have to go that far, dood? o.o;
Kai: Yes! Now, start the fic or I’ll do the same to you too!
Ryusuke: Sheesh. You don’t have to yell. *Pulls switch*
When reading Tokusei Insanity, please brighten the room and sit at a distance from the computer!
Chapter 15: Reunite! The Wacko Warriors!
*We see our heroes wearing what appears to spandex and a helmet in some sort of challenge*
Kohji: Tell me, why are we doing this?
Kai: Why else? Who wouldn’t want to do this?
Drei: Us.
Ryusuke: It doesn’t sound that bad. =D … I think. =(
Kai: Oh shut up and let’s get ready. It’s about to start.
*A wall comes in with a small hole in the center*
Kai: … Okay, we’re screwed.
*They run around, panicking before they get pushed into the water by the wall*
*Later, they walk in the café, all wet*
Kohji: Just what we need… to endure another day of self-humiliation. >_>;
Kai: Hey, there was a prize we could win to pay off our debt.
Drei: But we didn’t won.
Kai: But we did show some sportsmanship!
Drei: We hardly went past the first round!
Arashi: So, off to another antics of yours?
Kai: Oh hey Arashi, it’s good to have you here. We’ll get you a drink. Where’s Yorei?
Arashi: Yorei’s gone.
Kai: Hm?
Arashi: He’s been missing for a few days now. We lost contact with him.
Kai: So you’re here because…?
Arashi: Cause you guys are the only ones I can find help from. >_> Trance is well… “Busy.”
*Meanwhile, Trance is being ravaged by a swarm of girls ranging from harpies to mermaids to pirate girls, etc.*
Trance: Ahhh!!! H-hey, don’t take that off!
*Back to the café*
Kai: Being submissively raped as usual? I get you.
Kohji: So… how did he get exactly kidnapped?
Drei: Was he on a mission or something?
Arashi: He was off buying anime DVDs.
Kohji and Drei: … Oh.
Kai: No comment.
Arashi: I tried contacting him but there was no response so we tried searching everywhere. There wasn’t a single trace.
Drei: Think those Saint Legion guys are up to no good again?
Arashi: That could be possible.
Kai: So it’s settled, we’ll go in there and get Yorei out of there.
Arashi: You can put it that way.
Ryusuke: Yeah! Let’s kick some butts! =D
Kai: Sorry, Ryu. This is Wacko Warriors only business. You’ll have to step out of this for now.
Ryusuke: B-but, I was part of the Wacko Warriors too!
Kai: Bye Ryu~!
*They leave*
Ryusuke: Aww… They left. I guess I’ll just stay here and do something… I guess.
*Meanwhile with the EX-Wacko Warriors*
Kai: So where’s our main transportation or something?
Arashi: We… don’t have one. Budget went down the drain since we disbanded. >_>
Kai: Then how are we supposed to get there?
Syd: *Appears* I know a way!
Arashi: Good. Lead us the way.
*Several footsteps later*
Kai: Wait, what? This place? The very same place where they kidnapped Yorei and brainwashed him and they’re using it again?
Arashi: Seems like the case.
Syd: They’re not very creative when it comes to this but they might have-
Kai: *Takes a step, suddenly falls in a trapdoor* Oof!
Syd: … set up traps.
Drei: Should we go get him?
Kohji: I vote for proceeding ahead.
Arashi: He’ll catch up anyways. Somehow.
*They proceed*
Kai: … I think I fell on my keys. Oh wait. I don’t have any.
*Meanwhile*
Remiel: What? The Wacko Warriors are here already? Just great.
Shemhazai: What should we do?
Remiel: We mustn’t let them get Yorei no matter what costs. Wait, where’s Leliel?
Shemhazai: He… left us.
Remiel: What?! How many defectors do we have?! Oh whatever. Let’s just take care of them.
*Back with the Ex-Wacko Warriors*
Drei: How’d you manage to catch up anyways?
Kai: *Has arrows on his back* Oh it wasn’t easy. I run into a few more traps then come across a puzzle, which I solved with a strategy guide I found lying around.
Arashi: So you didn’t use your brain.
Kai: Hey! Give me a break here! Would you rather have me spend a portion of the chapter trying to solve puzzles?!
Syd: Suuure. Keep saying that.
Remiel: That’s the far you’ll go.
Arashi: Okay, lady. Where’s Yorei? He made it clear to you several times that he doesn’t want to go back to your religious cult.
Remiel: It’s not a cult! Anyways, your friend Yorei won’t be going anywhere with you since he’s going to be a full-fledged member once again!
Syd: By brainwashing him again?
Remiel: Well actually someone else did it for us but… yes. We’re doing it again.
Shemhazai: So we won’t hand him over to you!
Arashi: Looks like we’ll have to do it by force as usual.
Kai: The demon bitch is mine! I got a score to settle.
*Flashback*
Kai: *Lying on a pool of blood, pretty beaten up* Oh god… My bones.
*Flashback ends*
Shemhazai: Hmph! Like an impure half-demon like you can defeat me!
Kai: Bring it!
Remiel: Alright, let’s do this! … Hey, wait a minute. Where’s Labal? Oh crap…
Kohji: That’s right, you’re outnumbered.
Remiel: This ain’t fair! I mean your friend is fighting 1 on 1 with Shemhazai. Why can’t you even the odds?!
Drei: Cause it’s easier to beat bad guys by ganging up on them.
Remiel: Well you do got a point there-
Arashi: *Shoots*
Remiel: Hey!
Kai: Alright, you and me. This is for my honor and pride- Hey, where’s that guy who transforms into that giant spewing pile of organic mass?
Shemhazai: You mean Labal?
Kai: Yeah. Him. Whatever happened to him?
Shemhazai: I dunno.
*Meanwhile*
Labal: … *Sighs* *Wind blows in*
*Back to Saint Legion’s lair*
Kai: Anyways, fight!
Shemhazai: Hmph! You don’t need to tell me that! *Summons two sentient stones Umin and Thuumin*
Kai: Gee, I don’t think I quite remember this.
Shemhazai: Really now? Then let me jog your memory! *Casts a lightning spell at him*
Kai: Oh shit! *Dodges* Hiya! *Slashes Shemhazai* Hah! Take that! *Suddenly Umin glows and her wound heals* Eh?
Shemhazai: You fool, it doesn’t matter if you harm me or not if you don’t know what’s going on.
Kai: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought- *Thuumin glows and Shemhazai strikes at him* Whoa! *Dodges* Shit, did she gotten faster? *Gets kicked* Gah!
Kohji: Jigen Kizu! … Don’t I have any other attacks? >_>
Arashi: Just shut up and keep attacking. *Shooting*
Remiel: *Dodging and casting spells* Yorei is ours now! There’s no way we’re handing him back to you!
Syd: In that case, then we’re going to take him back then! *Hurls lightning bolts at her*
Drei: Oh. So I’m now wielding a guitar? Okay. *Strums away*
Kai: Huff… Puff… Okay, this isn’t going anywhere.
Shemhazai: What’s wrong, half-demon? Is that it?
Kai: Alright, wench. You leave me no choice but to do this.
Shemhazai: Do what? What are you mumbling about?
Kai: It’s time to let some hell loose.
Shemhazai: Huh?
Kai: Hm! *Emits an intense demonic aura*
Shemhazai: ?! What in the world is this?!
Kai: *Wearing a battle ready expression* This will be quick.
Shemhazai: Quick?! Like how are you going to do-
Kai: *Suddenly appears in front of her* *Swings at her*
Shemhazai: ?! *Jumps back* He’s fast! How’d he got so fast?!
Kai: *Appears behind her* Yo. *Slashes her*
Shemhazai: Gah! There’s no way a half-demon can possess this much power.
Kai: Believe it or not. *Holds his sword horizontally before charging toward her*
Shemhazai: Ergh! *Holds up two stones in front of her as defense*
Kai: Juuji Giri! *Slashes a cross pattern, cutting through the stones and into her*
Shemhazai: Ugh!!! *Is sent flying and crashes into the ground in front of Remiel*
Remiel: Shemhazai?! Damn it! We’ll have to retreat for now.
Arashi: Where is Yorei? Answer now unless you want a hole in your head.
Remiel: Hmph! He’s at the back! But you wasted your time, it’s already too late! The brainwashing is complete! *Disappears*
Drei: Is anyone getting a distinct feeling of déjà vu here? I mean, come on. We did this before.
Kohji: Let’s just go. >_>
*The party proceeds to the floor where they see Yorei who is wearing a soulless expression*
Arashi: Yorei!
Syd: Hey, you’re yourself right?
Kai: Yorei! It’s me, Kai! We were going to play Brawl the other day but you couldn’t connect to Wi-Fi and-
Yorei: *Raises hand* *Suddenly a shadow-like creature appears behind Kai, trapping him in its rip cage*
Kai: Gah!
Arashi: Yup. He’s brainwashed.
Kohji: Oh wonderful. This never gets old, does it?
Kai: Hey, a little help here.
Syd: We’ll deal with that later. Let’s beat some sense into Yorei!
Kai: Oh come on. Alright, it’s time for a good ol’ “Double Seppuku.” Hiya! *Runs blade through himself but Armisael retreats into the ground before it gets stabbed* Oh… Okay, that was a completely bad idea. *Pulls sword out and turns to the others fighting Yorei*
Kai:. It’s time for ghost for ghost! *Charges* Hyah! Genmazan!
*Suddenly Armisael appears in front of him, catching his blade*
Kai: You gotta be-
Armisael: *Swings him around, hitting the others*
Kai: *Is tossed in the ground* Oww… Alright, screw it. Eat this! *Concentrates energies on his blade before unleashing into a huge blast of energies at Yorei* Rekkuuha! *The attack hits Yorei and Armisael, exploding upon impact* Yeah! Take that!
*The smoke clears as Yorei appears to be unharmed, now wearing his shadow as an armor*
Kai: Oh…
Kohji: Throwing attacks at him won’t return him back to normal. >_>
Kai: So how did we return him back to normal?
Drei: Dunno. All I know that from last time, the Saint Legions we fought were hologram.
Arashi: So all we gotta do is have him remember important memories.
Kai: *Flashbacks to constant physical damages he done to Yorei repeatedly* Erm… Yeah. Important memories. Right. Sure, we’ll go with that.
Syd: Hold on, I got a plan. Just distract him or something.
Kai: Wait, what? *Suddenly is grabbed by Armisael* Oh crap! *Gets pulled in* Waaah! Is it ready?
Syd: Nope.
Kai: *Getting ravaged* Daaah! Now?
Syd: Not yet.
Kai: Gaaah! What about now?
Syd: Hmmm. A bit more.
Kai: AGH!!!
Syd: NOW! HYAH! *POW!*
Yorei: *Falls*
Kai: Oh… Why didn’t you do that in the first place?
Syd: Cause it’s fun watching you get your ass kicked.
Yorei: Oww… Did you have to go that far?
Syd: Yes.
Yorei: Ugh.
Kai: So… what happened?
Yorei: Oh just a typical day walking down the streets. Then a bunch of shady guys come up and knocked me out. The rest is complete blank. That’s all I have. But yeah, I guess we’re involved in some sort of grand evil plot once again.
Kai: Oh! Does that mean the Wacko Warriors are together again for some final mission?
Yorei: … Sure. Why not? You can put it that way. Say, where’s Trance?
Arashi: *Calling Trance on his answer* Still no answer.
*Meanwhile*
Trance: Agh! This gag is getting old! Oh no! Not there!
*Back with the Wacko Warriors*
Kai: So… What now?
Yorei: *Shrugs* Probably go back to the Wacko Coliseum to get all our stuff.
*Several treks later cause the author is lazy*
Yorei: Aaand here we are!
*The Wacko Coliseum is… falling apart*
Kai: Wow… So it’s really been a while.
Arashi: Gee, you think?
Yorei: Well, let’s go pick up our stuff if they aren’t covered in dust or whatnot.
*As they enter the coliseum, unknown to them, a certain spirit lurks about*
Kai: Oh hey! I remember this! Wacko Warriors candy! *Picks it up* Oh. It’s covered in mold. *Tosses it away and wipes his hand*
Kohji: Pretty nostalgic.
Yorei: Yup. We have our fun times. *Looks at Kai* And stupid times.
Kai: Hm?
Yorei: Anyways, let’s pick up everything we need so we can head to Exaccus’ base so we can go kick his ass.
Kai: Who?
Arashi: A character we made after several constant retcons to our continuity.
Kai: O…kay. I’ll read about it later.
???: So you’re back. After abandoning this coliseum.
Kohji: You’re bringing HIM back in this fic out of all enemies we faced?
Kai: … Yes. Oh come on, before was constant restarts. This one is different!
???: I, Luster Colossus! Judge thee no longer worthy of this coliseum!
*Suddenly the coliseum shakes and the Wacko Warriors are flung into the arena*
Kai: Oh yeah… Good times. Good ol’ times when I chose the element of darkness back when I had those teenage emo feelings.
Luster Colossus: I have entrusted the coliseum to you because I believed you have become truly worthy! But now… Look at it! You abandoned the coliseum and let it fall apart!
Yorei: Uhh… Well, you see. It’s kinda complicated. Wacko Battles fell apart and shit happens.
Luster Colossus: Your words are futile! Suffer thy judgment now! *Unleashes beams of light on them*
Drei: Do we have to fight him again?
Arashi: Apparently, yes.
Kai: *Dodging beams* Crap! Crap! Light… my weakness! Okay, I’ll be right back. Save some action for me! *Runs off*
Yorei: Uh-huh. *Turns to the others* Okay, let’s kick his ass.
Arashi, Syd, Kohji, and Drei: Kay.
*Outside the coliseum*
Kai: Alright, let’s see if this old thing works. *Presses buttons and stuff* *Suddenly the Eds appear*
Eddy: Okay, where the heck are we?
Edd: According to my calculations, I believe we’re in… Oh my.
Ed: Hi guy with the spiky hair!
Eddy: You again?!
Kai: That’s right… You know what that means?
Edd and Eddy: Umm…
Ed: Oh! Oh! Does it involve Buttered Toast?
Kai: No… *Rolls them up into a ball* Let’s get rolling! *Starts rolling them into other objects*
Edd and Eddy: AHHHHH!!!
Ed: Ahahahahahahaha! Fun!
*Back in the arena*
Luster Colossus: *Stumbles back with cracks on his armor* Ugh… And to think you were able to put me in a corner. Very well then, I’ll unleash my true power! *Armors starts cracking* Haaaaa- Hey, what’s that from afar?
Kai: KATAMARI ATTACK!!!! *Rolling a large ball composed of random objects toward him*
Yorei: Damn it, Kai! RUN!
*The others move out of the way as the Katamari-like ball hits Luster Colossus head-on, clumping it along with the entire coliseum as it rolls off*
Arashi: You do know that you just gotten rid of the very foundation of the Wacko Battles was built on.
Kai: Oh come on now! It’s not like we’ll use it again! … Right?
Trance: *Walks in, clothes ripped*
Kai: Hey Trance, what’s up?
Trance: *Hits him* That’s for using the same gag that’s been overdone to death. =/
Yorei: Erm, more importantly, we got what we need. Let’s get going to Exaccus’ HQ. Syd, lead the way.
*Later*
Guard #1: And I was like this to him one day. Ya know like that and this.
Guard #2: Uh-huh.
*Buzz*
Guard #1: Oh someone’s at the gate. Let’s answer it. *Presses button*
Kai: We like to infiltrate your base please. So mind opening the gate?
Guard #1: Oh sure, we’ll let you in. *To other guard* What a joke.
Guard #2: Yup.
Kai: Well, we got a tank.
Guard #1: Yeah right.
Kai: We’re not kidding.
Guard #1: Sure you are.
*Suddenly the tank drove through the gate*
Guard #1: Oh shit! Sound the alarm- *Gets crushed by the debris*
Drei: Say, where did you get this tank anyways?
Kai: I hijacked it.
Kohji: Okay that raises a lot of question.
Yorei: No time! We gotta plow through while we still have the time!
*In the central room*
Security Guard: Sir! They have break through our defensive stronghold! What should we do?
Exaccus: Typical. It’s as expected of them to come here and create havoc. Get Laika. And unleash the test subjects.
Security Guard: Right away soon! *Leaves*
Exaccus: *Turns to the tube containing what appears to be a humanoid body* Soon, you’ll be revived.
*With the Wacko Warriors*
Yorei: Ya know, I don’t think it was necessary to run over some of those guards with the tank.
Kai: I couldn’t resist. It’s like playing Grand Theft Auto IV.
Syd: If I’m correct, we’re directly in the facility with all of that old man’s crazy experiments.
Arashi: Fun. *Loads gun*
*In the control room*
Exaccus: Hmph. Those fools are falling directly into my trap. Unleash the umm… What was its name. Oh just release it.
*Back with the Wacko Warriors, as they proceed, their weapons are suddenly pulled away from them and a panther-like being appears*
???: Fools! You are nothing without your weapons- *Gets taken down by the Wacko Warriors barehanded*
Kai: Pwned.
Yorei: Now what were you saying about us being useless without our weapons?
Drei:: So who was that guy?
Kohji: I don’t think I remember his face anywhere.
Trance: Probably one of Kai’s crappy NPC muses.
Kai: Hey!
???: X_X They.. forgot about me?! *Dies*
Yorei: Anyways, let’s get going.
*In the control room*
Exaccus: Erm… That was quick. Unleash the sheep!
*With the Wacko Warriors, they run across a pair of huge sheep, one is black and the other white*
Kai: Oooooh. I remember this. Can I?
Yorei: Be my guest.
Kai: Alright! *Jumps* Hyah!
*SPLAT!*
Everyone: Ewww…
Kai: *Shakes off the remains of the sheep’s brains from his shoes* Okay, I’m done.
Drei: That was unnecessarily violent.
*In the control room*
Exaccus: *Holds his gag* What is up with these kids?! Is there anything that could take them out?!
Security Guard: Sir! Lucifer Machine MK. II is going out of control.
Exaccus: Excellent. Release it.
Security Guard: Erm, I don’t think we should-
Exaccus: Who’s the mad scientist here?
Security Guard: Umm… You, sir?
Exaccus: Good. Now be a good boy and… DO AS WHAT AS I SAID!
Security Guard: R-right away, sir! *Runs off*
Exaccus: With that distracting the Wacko Warriors, the process will be finished. *Puts his hand on the tube* Soon… You’ll be complete. *The being’s eyes glows brightly in the tube*
*Back with the Wacko Warriors, they hear a scream and few seconds later, see a bunch of guards sent flying*
Security Guard: Ahhhh! S-stay back! *Shoots at it*
*The armored creature roars and charges and grabs his head, crushing it, blood drips from its hands*
Yorei: Oh great… I didn’t expect to see IT out of all things we faced in the past.
Trance: Stand back. Let me show how to deal with an uber powerful monster. Ningyousou-
*POW!*
*Trance is sent flying*
Kai: So much for that. How did we beat it before exactly?
Yorei: We…
Arashi: Forgot.
Syd: …Yeah. That’s pretty much it.
Kai: … Oh shite.
Lucifer Machine MK. II: *Roars*
Yorei: RUN. That’s the only option we got if we ever want to live to see the light of day!
Trance: Ow… Hey, wait for me!
*The Wacko Warriors makes a run for it as the creature take pursuit*
Kai: Shit! There’s no end to this thing!
Yorei: If only we somehow get a hold of its blueprint to figure out its weakness!
Arashi: There’s more monsters ahead!
Syd: I got an idea! Leave this to me! *Runs up to one of the monsters* Hey big guy! Bet you can’t catch me! *Runs as the large tyrannosaurus rex-like creature chases after her* Now! *She jumps away as the tyrannosaurus rex monster and Lucifer Machine charges at each other*
Kai: Awesome. The usual monster fighting each other trick from Doom.
Yorei: *Lucifer Machine rips off the monster’s head* Won’t last long. Hurry before it will do what it did to that monster to us.
Kai: No kidding.
*The Wacko Warriors runs off as the Lucifer Machine fights off the hordes of experimental monsters*
Yorei: Okay, we lost that thing. Now on to the last stage.
Laika: That’s how far you’ll go.
Arashi: Great, him.
Yorei: Let me handle this. Listen, you don’t have to do this.
Laika: I don’t know… My father…
Yorei: You don’t really have to listen to him, do you?
Laika: Well… no…
Kai: Say, isn’t he our enemy.
Arashi: Yes. You can attack him.
Kai: Okay. Rekkuuha!
Laika: Ya know… You’re right! Maybe I should quit- *Gets hit* Oof! *Gets knocked unconscious*
Yorei: … What the hell, Kai?! I was close to persuading him to our side!
Arashi: We’ll get to the final battle faster this way. *Picks up card key from Laika*
Yorei: *Sighs* I can’t believe you guys.
*And finally, the Wacko Warriors encounter Exaccus*
Exaccus: So Wacko Warriors, you finally come so far.
Yorei: Alright, what kind of evil insane plot you’re cooking up. Just spill it so we can go home and do whatever we want with our lives.
Exaccus: Well, you see… I needed someone to pluck the soul from the afterlife. So then I remembered you, Yorei. Yes, you have the ability to summon souls of the dead-
Syd: So, why him? If you’re gonna kidnap him for that, couldn’t you also use him for other purposes instead of handing him over to the Saint Legion?
Exaccus: Um-
Trance: Yeah, couldn’t it have been other people? I’m sure there are dozens of people with that ability.
Exaccus: S-silence! Nothing in this plot makes any sense anyways! I present you… Divider II!
Divider II: *Emerges from the tube* Nice to see you guys.
Drei: Oh come on!
Kohji: Clichéd line ever.
Kai: So… mind filling me in?
Yorei: While we were sorting our mess of a storyline, we put in a demigod clone of the God of Entropy, Division Bell.
Kai: Oh… I get ya.
Exaccus: Now, Divider. Destroy them!
Divider II: Hmph. I don’t need to listen to a pathetic human like you.
Exaccus: W-what?! But I created you! And I brought you back! You dare turn your back on me?!
Divider II: Puny human, I’m not a demigod anymore. I am now… A GOD! *Erupts with a very powerful aura*
Exaccus: Ah! *Gets blown away*
Kai: Oh great, another freak with a god complex.
*Lucifer Machine arrives and is about to jump at them before Divider blasts it to complete oblivion along with a portion of the base*
Kai: Uhh… Wow.
Yorei: That’s the demigod clone of the God of Entropy for ya.
Divider II: I am not a demigod. I am a GOD.
Syd: Sure, keep telling yourself that.
Divider II: Now… I will reveal my true form!
Yorei: Why would you do that?
Divider II: Oh please, why would I waste my time fighting you in my weakest form when I can destroy you all instantly in my strongest form?
Yorei: Okay then. I guess we’ll just sit here and watch you do that.
*Divider II transforms into a large mechanical being, they aren’t in the room anymore but rather in some sort of dimensional space*
Kai: Well shit.
Divider: You fools don’t stand a chance when I am in this form!
Arashi: Hmm. How does one deal with a villain with a god complex? >>
Kai: We must unite our power into one!
Yorei: Please tell me you’re not going to make us do that kickball thing.
Kai: Huh? I was talking about pooling our powers together and strike him all at once.
Yorei: … Well, the power of unity does triumph everything. Okay. Sure. Let’s do it.
Kai: Okay! Behold… WACKO BATTLES SPIRITS- *Everyone looks at him* Umm… Union Strike! … Yeah.
*Everyone starts glowing with their respective aura colors, Yorei with purple, Arashi with gray, Syd with yellow, Trance with pink, Kai with red, Kohji with blue, and Drei with green*
Kai: Why’s yours pink?
Trance: Do you want me to come over there and rearrange your face? I can do that now.
Divider: What are you gonna do with that?
Yorei: Probably give you epileptic seizures but more importantly… THIS!
*All Wacko Warriors starts striking the demigod consecutively, Yorei hits him with his greatsword, Arashi shoots him, Syd strikes him with her claws, Kai attacks with his sword, Kohji does the same, Trance as well, and Drei hits him with the bladed edge of his guitar before they all attack the demigod together at once, blowing a hole through the being’s body*
Divider II: But how…? How can I, a god be defeated by the likes of you mortal beings?!
Yorei: News flash, heroes will ALWAYS win regardless of how godly powerful you are.
Divider II: Oh that is a load of bull- *Explodes*
Kai: Welp, another day of dealing with a villain with a god complex. What else are we missing?
Exaccus: *Is getting away with them looking but trips*
Laika: Father, this way!
*They get away*
Arashi: And the bad guys got away.
Yorei: Meh. We’ll kick their asses another day. We always will.
Kai: So… I guess this puts an end to the chapter of the Wacko Warriors reuniting together for one final mission.
Yorei: Uhh… Yeah.
Arashi: You could say that.
Syd: Maybe.
Trance: Uh-huh.
Kai: Well… No heartfelt speech about our everlasting friendship despite the dissolving of the organization.
Yorei: No thanks.
Kai: Okay then…Well, call me if you ever need help.
Yorei: Probably.
*They leaves*
Kai: Well… That was fun, right?
Kohji: Fuck you, Kai.
Kai: Say, something tells me that I forgot something.
*Back in the café*
Ryusuke: So bored… *Hears doorbell* Hm? I wonder what could it be? *Opens door*
Insurer: I believe this is yours. *Pushes in large box with Shoku sleeping peacefully inside*
Shoku: Zzzzz… Zzzzzz… ^z.z^;;;
Insurer: Good day, sir. *Leaves*
Ryusuke: Erm… Okay… That was weird. I guess.
To be continued…

Next Chapter: Wright or Wrong
Kai: On the next chapter of Tokusei Insanity! Wait, I’m being sued?! But how?!
Ryusuke: Past chapters references, dood!
Kai: And guess who will come up to defend me? PHOENIX WRIGHT!
Phoenix: Why do I have to take this job?
Maya: You can do it, Nick!
Phoenix: I don’t think there’s even any point to this.
Kai: Till next time! Chapter 16: Wright or Wrong!
Ryusuke: That’s a pretty tacky name.
Maya: Good luck! =)
Phoenix: *Sighs* I hope… =_=;

Tokusei Review #2
Kai: Hello friends, been a long time since I used this feature. Today, we will review the game for the PSP!
Shoku: What about reviewing old games? ^>.>^;;
Kai: Pfft. Let the Angry Video Game Nerd do that. Besides, I misplaced my old consoles.
Shoku: Meh. *Falls asleep* ^z.z^;;
Kai: Anyways, the PSP, Sony’s handheld console and competition to the Nintendo DS.
Shoku: It’s still a waste that you bought it. ^n.n^;; *Goes back to sleep*
Kai: The game we’ll be reviewing is… Tales of the World: Radiant Mythology, which features characters from Namco’s Tales franchise ranging from Tales of Phantasia, Tales of Destiny, Tales of Eternia, Tales of Destiny II, Tales of Symphonia, Tales of Rebirth, and finally, Tales of the Abyss. You guys look it up in Wikipedia, I ain’t going to explain what they are other than being an anime action JRPG. So, now we put this UMD in this PSP and… we turn it on! *Turns on PSP, screen still comes up blank* … *Tries to turn it on again*
Ryusuke: o.o;; Did you ever charged it?
Kai: Aw mother fucker. Damn thing didn’t turn off. *Plugs the charger and turns it on* Alright, here we go. Radiant Mythology is part of a series of Tales crossover called Tales of the World. It features characters from Namco’s Tales games. Is it good? Uh… Let’s find out. A lot of Tales games has these anime intros done by Production I.G. Of course, the Japanese songs are taken out and instead replaced with a different track, sometimes, being the instrumental version of the song. There is one huge exception such as Tales of Vesperia for the Xbox 360 in which the opening theme has English lyrics for international release.
Ryusuke: Not like Radiant Mythology’s song that good though.
Kai: Well enough about me rambling about this, I could go on about it all day. Anyways when you start the game, you can customize your character like gender, hair color, hairstyle, and face. Shit like that. And guess what? It’s a silent protagonist. Anyways, you wake up with this cat-like thingy named Mormo and then you save a girl named Kanonno from one of Ganser’s soldiers. Then Chester from ToP come in and bring you to Ailily and introduce you to a resistance group Ab Libitum. And the story starts from there. So enough spoiling, it’s time to break it down to the gameplay.
Ryusuke: Whoo.
Kai: Well, to be exact… It plays like a MMORPG. You do quests, most of them involve fighting monsters, exploring dungeons, level grinding. Makes me wonder why they didn’t do something like this for a possible Tales MMORPG like the defunct Tales of Eternia Online. Anyways, what bugs me is about some quests involves you rescuing people or delivering items to them in the dungeon. What the hell could they be doing there? If it’s so dangerous, why the hell they go there in the first place? Anyways, there’s quests that lets you progress the story but you need enough fame points to unlock them. Oh yeah, you get fame points from quests. They increase chances of you recruiting Tales characters are mercenaries. Which doesn’t do jack shit especially when they always refuse you more than twice in a row. Seriously. I’m pissed. Especially when you are unable to recruit them some of them in a certain level for some goddamn reason. I swear, I wanna punch the developers who program these gameplay.
Ryusuke: Yup.
Kai: Anyways, you start with four classes: Warrior, Thief, Mage, and Priest. You also get Swordsman and Fighter from the story. The other four: Magic Knight, Bishop, Ninja, and Hunter are obtained from quests. These classes just have attacks blatantly ripped off from Tales characters. Some of them have originals though. Anyways, not much to say about battles, you won’t be able to do some insane combos like in console Tales games and the enemies can combo you to death, which can be annoying especially when they gang up on you. Though other than that, you can find the battle system aspect enjoyable to some degree when you’re not bored trying to level up all classes. The story itself isn’t very good. The whole World concept felt like something that came from Kingdom Hearts or the lesser-known Shadow Hearts. And the character designs are just plain meh. I mean did you see Widdershin? He’s a frickin’ Sephiroth with cat ears!
Ryusuke: And the funny thing is that he’s voiced by Sephiroth’s seiyuu in the Japanese version.
Kai: Speaking of voice acting, it’s okay. But one notable thing that struck controversy among Tales fans is the change to the ToS characters’ voice actors. Lloyd, Genis, and Raine don’t have their original voice actors due to them using a different studio back then. Cam Clarke still does Kratos though. And that’s all I have to say for the game. You’ll unlikely find this game in stores anymore since it’s been out of print. I’m lucky I manage to get a hold of one of these. If you call it lucky that is. I’ll give the game a 2.8 out of 5. If it weren’t for the obvious poorly programmed gameplay, I would’ve at least given it a 3. But things are shaping up pretty well for the sequel, Radiant Mythology 2. You better hope that it would reach the U.S. Cause I darn wish it should!
Ryusuke: Just wait, dood. o_o;
Kai: Anyways, next time, I’ll be reviewing a well-received game and that is The World Ends With You for the Nintendo DS. So see ya next time!
Ryusuke: Later, dude! *Waves*

[Kai Yamato]

Chapter 16: Wright or Wrong

Kai: Okay, let’s see here... Bill. *Tosses envelope elsewhere*

Ryusuke: *Dodges* Dude!

Kai: Bill. *Tosses*

Kohji: *Dodges* What the crap?

Kai: Bill. *Tosses*

Drei: *Dodges* Hey! Watch it.

Kai: Bill. *Tosses*

Shoku: Zzzz… Zzzzzz. *Slumps to the side and narrowly dodges the envelope*

Kai: I guess that’s the last of them. Hm? What’s this? *Opens the last envelope* “Kai Yamato, you are hereby called to court for damages caused to these victims.” Wait, I’m being sued?

Ryusuke: By who?

Kai: *Reads letter* A bunch of folks no one cares about. *Toss it away and it hits someone*

Random Person: My eye!

Kai: More importantly, I need a lawyer. I know the man who will take the case and his name is-

Drei: He’s dead.

Kai: What?

Drei: Didn’t you watch the last episode of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law?

Kai: No. I missed it. Well, guess that leaves us our one and only option.

*At Wright and Co Office*

Phoenix: *Picks up phone* Yes? Umm… Okay. Sure, we can take the case. Kay. *Puts away phone*

Maya: Who was it, Nick?

Phoenix: Some guy says he’s being sued and stuff. o_o;

Maya: Oh this should be great!

Phoenix: Yeah sure… Ahahahaha… Easy.

*Later in the meeting*

Phoenix: Hello. I’m Phoenix Wright. Defense attorney.

Kai: Kai Yamato. Half-Demon.

Phoenix: Excuse me? o_O

Kai: Nothing.

Phoenix: Okay… So let me get this straight. You say you're being sued by these people for the damages you have caused. Am I right?

Kai: Yup.

Phoenix: *Mutters under his breath* Ain't that the usual politically correct reasons why people sue anyways? *Normal speaking voice* So what exactly did you do anyways?

Kai: Well… I can only vaguely remember.

Phoenix: But do you know you’re really responsible for it?

Kai: Directly or indirectly.

Phoenix and Maya: …

Maya: W-what do you think, Nick?

Phoenix: He’s screwed for sure. No doubt about it.

Maya: Come on Nick! It can’t really be that bad. What would Mia say?

Phoenix: That he’d probably be better off in spending his time jail and so on?

Maya: Nick!

Ryusuke: For some reason, I think it’s a bad idea to be hiring him.

Kai: It can’t be bad.

Phoenix: *Is reluctant* Alright, I’ll take the case.

Kai: Cool.

Maya: That’s the spirit!

Phoenix: (I have a bad feeling about this…)

*The next day*

*Before court*

Phoenix: Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: Wright, I see that you have taken this case.

Phoenix: Of course I would

Edgeworth: Well, about that. You gotta see this. This Kai Yamato person has been charged for arson, property damage, harassment, assault…

Phoenix: Uhh…

Edgeworth: The list goes on but I wouldn’t want to go on. Wish you luck in court, Wright.

Phoenix: Y-yeah… (Gee, thanks for the motivation.)

*In court*

Judge: This is the case of umm… *Looks at paper* A bunch of minor characters verse Kai Yamato. Representing Mr. Yamato will be Phoenix Wright.

Phoenix: (I hope I won’t regret this.)

Judge: However, the prosecutor isn’t Miles Edgeworth but… Manfred von Karma?!

Everyone: *Gasps*

Manfred: That’s right, I am back.

Edgeworth: …

Phoenix: But I heard that you were convicted and given the death sentence!

Manfred: Hmph. That was just a rumor. I merely got my license revoked but now that I've got it back… I have come back from the depths of hell to defeat you. Phoenix Wright! This time I don’t need to forge evidence for this!

Phoenix: *Gulps*

Judge: A-anyways, will the defendant come up?

Kai: *Walks up in the stand*

Manfred: Do you hereby swear to tell the truth and not lie?

Kai: Uhh… Yeah.

Manfred: You do know what everything you say must be the absolute truth. You’ll be going against this oath if you dare tell a lie.

Kai: Y-yeah. I think I get it.

Phoenix: He’s screwed...

Maya: Come on! It’s only just the beginning of the trial! Don’t doubt him too soon.

Phoenix: Right... I… guess so. >_>;;;

Manfred: Now state your name and occupation.

Kai: Kai Yamato. And uhhh… Well, I pretty much do anything and everything.

Manfred: So in other words, you’re jobless.

Kai: Hey! I do all sorts of jobs! Bounty hunting!

Manfred: Oh really? I suppose you are financially successful from these said jobs.

Kai: *Remembers how he failed them* Not at all.

Manfred: Oh-ho I see. So not only are you uneducated to apply for a professional job but also you’re also incompetent!

Kai: Hey! I’m not that stupid! I just… act before thinking. A bit impulsive.

Manfred: Oh I see a straightforward type of guy indeed. Let’s see here…Kai Yamato is held responsible for damages brought to these victims. Now I call to the stand, the Princess from a random Kingdom!

Princess: He left me tied up after rescuing me!

Kai: As I said before, swords are for killing not cutting other things.

Manfred: So you’re a murderous sociopath now?

Kai: For you to know, I don’t kill innocent people, only the bad guys. Well actually sometimes the innocent but it’s by accident.

Phoenix: *Slams his face on the desk*

Manfred: Next!

Passengers: He left us on that island where we were forced into slave labor!

Kai; Hey, it's not like the raft had enough room for all of us.

Manfred: But you didn’t try to get some of them on board?

Kai: Didn’t see the point.

Manfred: Lack of compassion! Next… Some hero who’s name I still don’t get.

Hero: I never got my message!

Kai: The messenger met a tragic death.

Manfred: There was autopsy indicating that it was by a gunshot.

Kai: *Tosses away gun* *Whistles innocently*

Phoenix: You have got to be kidding me…

Manfred: Now I bring forth to the stand, the infamous adventurer Illinois Smith.

Kai: *Mutters under breath* Indiana Jones knockoff.

Illinois Smith: I heard that.

Manfred: Now tell me, Sir Smith what did he do to you?

Illinois Smith: I had a boulder fall on top of me. Now I’m a paraplegic.

Kai: Okay, well I sure didn’t expect that to happen when I managed to dodge it.

Manfred: But you didn’t try to help him up?

Kai: Bah. As they always say. The human body is very durable.

Milosh: *From the audience* Um Kaizu, that’s not always true with some people.

Phoenix: *Pulls on his hair out of frustration*

Maya: Nick, if you keep pulling on your hair like that. You’ll end up bald like Winston Payne. o.o;

Phoenix: It’s not my hair I’m worrying about. It’s the fact that everything he says in his defense isn’t helping him at all but making it worse for him! =_=;

Maya: Just have faith in him. I’m sure something will come around.

Phoenix: I really hope you’re right, Maya… oh I really do.

Manfred: Now then… anything from your side?

Kai: Bah. They’re all minor characters. No one cares about them. They’re just there to make me look good.

Everyone: *Gasps*

Phoenix: *Twitches*

Maya: Oh my. That isn’t going to get us any good points from the jury. o_o;

Manfred: I guess that pretty much sums it up. It’s apparent that he shouldn’t be here but be put in jail for causing these people’s suffering!

Kai: OBJECTION!

Phoenix: Hey! That’s my line!

Kai: Now hold on a minute. You haven’t heard enough.

Manfred: Oh? And whom’d you like to call to the stand?

Kai: Uhh… Ryusuke!

Ryusuke: *Is on stand* Uhh… Well… We’re best buds? o_o;

Manfred: That’s it?

Ryusuke: Well… Yeah.

Kai: Erm…

Manfred: As you were saying?

Kai: Oh come on, that's still not enough for you to make your final judgement! There’s more to it! Kohji… what’s his last name is!

Kohji: Eizan.

Kai: Whatever.

Kohji: He and I use to be rivals… Then after that, for some reason, he decides to look down on me and starts treating me badly. >_>

Kai: If you had more creative ideas, I probably would treat you as more as an equal then!

Drei: He picked on me and called me names.

Kai: Hey! You’re supposed to be defending me! Not going against me!

Drei: Oh, really? My bad then, I actually thought this was a case against you.

Kai: Argh!!!

Shoku: Zzzzz… Zzzzz… ^;z.z^;

Judge: Um can someone get him off the stand?

Mana: He’s my bitch. >3

Kai: What?!

Mana: You heard me. >3

Kai: You sick sonava…

Judge: *Disturbed* Next! And someone for the love of god, please get her out of here.

Milosh: Well Kaizu… is not that very bright.

Kai: Hey!

Milosh: But he is a very competent fighter. Even so… He still hasn’t told me his resolve! When are you going to tell me your resolve, Kaizu! Huh?! When?! WHEN?!*Gets dragged away by security*

Kai: Yeah… I’ll tell you when come up with something that doesn't sound so corny.

Judge: Umm… Okay… Next up?

Yorei: He’s an idiot… Well, he used to be our idiot. He used to be part of our defunct group long ago and he was sort of… invasive with his own ideas. So we’d thought we’d had to let him go. Yeah… We’re now on okay terms I guess.

Arashi: He was very annoying.

Syd: Even though we don’t talk a lot but from what I know, he’s like a child.

Trance: He was full of fail. I owned him with my video game knowledge. >:D

Kai: … *Twitches*'

Manfred: Is that all I presume?

Kai: Uhhh… Yeah. That’s pretty much all of it. *Sits down*

Manfred: Now as you see… This man is a danger to our growing society! He should not be allowed to roam the streets! His nature is so destructive one day he’ll be the end of us all! *Lulz! Epic foreshadowing* That’s all, your honor.

Phoenix: Umm… Okay, he may have done a lot of bad things. But he’s just poorly misunderstood. He doesn’t know what he’s doing at all or rather, doesn't tend to think about what he’s doing. Sure, he did cause quite some harm to these people but…I’m sure they can forgive him, right?

Minor characters: HELL NO!

Phoenix: Erm… That’ll be it, your honor.

Judge: Okay. The jury can now go to recess.

Phoenix: *Pulling on his hair* What am I gonna do?

Mia: *Possess Maya* Don’t give up, Phoenix! No matter how hopeless it seems, you must always stay with your client all the way!

Phoenix: Can’t I just give him a boot to the head please?

Mia: No! No boot to the head! Bad Phoenix!

Phoenix: Just this once?

Mia: Absolutely not!

Judge: Is the jury ready to make the verdict?

Jury: We find the defendant…

Manfred: So, looks like it’s the last straw here for you. With one word from the jury, you’ll be off to jail for greater justice.

Kai: Yeah… But I got something to say to you first.

Manfred: And what could it be?

Kai: A BOOT TO THE HEAD!

Manfred: What does that even mean-

Kai: *Kicks him square in the face*

Manfred: Ugh! *Falls*

Judge: *Smashes gavel* Order in the court! Security, restrain him!

Maya: Wait! something’s going on.

Manfred: *Sparks fly from his neck and is speaking incoherently*

Phoenix: It’s… a robot!

Everyone: *Gasps*

Judge: Well now… What an unforeseen event. Since robots don’t actually have any roles in laws or are there any existing laws including them… I hereby declare this case dismissed.

Minor characters: What?!

Judge: *Smashes gavel* Everyone, you can all go home now.

Minor characters: *Groans* You can't do this!

Kai: I won…? I won! Thank you, The Frantics!

Maya: Who is he talking about?

Phoenix: I have no idea…

*Later*

Phoenix: *Looks at records* Well, what do you know? Manfred did die from a death sentence as we first thought. But I wonder about that whole robot ordeal.

Kai: Whoo. At last

Ryusuke: Won’t they be thinking of getting another human attorney then suing you again now?

Kai: That’d be the case but… I appealed for immunity so they won’t be suing me ever again.

Phoenix: That’s good. So… here’s the bill. *Hands it to them* This isn’t for free ya know.

Kai: … Uh yeah… About that… We’ll pay you when we get money. Okay? Good. See ya! *Runs off*

Phoenix: Wait! … *Sighs* I feel like suing him right about now.

Maya: We can’t. He got immunity.

Phoenix: Oh right. =_=;

Maya: Cheer up, Nick! Least we won this one!

Phoenix: But was it really worth it…? I mean we just gave a very dangerous man legal immunity.

Maya: Well, you know what they always say. What comes around goes around.

Phoenix: I guess so… I hope we did the right thing…

*Explosion is heard in the city*

Kai: Aw shit. I did it again.

Phoenix: The right thing… Yeah… We’re all screwed.

To be continued…

Next Chapter: Fighting Academy

Kai: On the next chapter of Tokusei Insanity! A mysterious academy appeared out of nowhere!

Ryusuke: And the headmaster all suddenly invites us!

Kai: Tests! Tests! Tests! I hate tests!

Ryusuke: This is terrible! This is how we’re supposed to fight?! Attack their weak point to cause massive damage?! What weak point is there?! I’m confused. @_@

Kai: I’ll show them the true art of fighting that it’s not by the books but by the real thing! Till then! Next time! Fighting Academy!

Ryusuke: I think we need a more creative title than that, dude.

[Kai Yamato]

Halloween Special 2009

*The night of Halloween where kids dresses up in costumes and go trick-or-treating. Of course, obviously too old for this silly stuff, what could our heroes be up to now?*

Ryusuke: I’m Monkey D. Luffy! And I’ll be the King of Pirates! =D

Kohji: I’m… Vash the Stampede. *Cocks gun*

Ryusuke: Still not worthy.

Kai: I am… the Crappy Photographer.

Kohji: That’s it?

Kai: *Takes out a DX Decadriver Belt* And the Destroyer of Worlds. Kamen Rider Decade! I can change into nine other Kamen Riders!

Shoku: Can you change into Segata Sanshiro? ^n.n^;

Kai: Uhh… No. Not really. He’s not a Heisei Rider.

Shoku: Oh. Guess you can’t handle Segata Sanshiro’s awesomeness then. ^n.n^;

Kai: Sure… Let’s go with that. And what are you supposed to be anyways?

Shoku: *Snaps finger* *Segata Sanshiro theme plays* *Giant white Sega Saturn falls on Kai* ^n.n^

Kai: @_@ Ow… Okay, I get it.

Drei: And I’m the Treasure Sniper. *Holds up DX Diendriver*

Ryusuke: You brainwashed him into watching Kamen Rider, didn’t ya?

Kai: Not really. He just started watching Shinkenger and he ended up watching Decade.

Drei: So why did we went out and dress up?

Kohji: Didn’t you say last Halloween that trick or treating is for kids?

Kai: Ah-ha. But that’s not what we’re here for! What we’re going to do is explore that haunted house over there! *Points*

*DUN DUN DUN*

Drei: Haven’t we done this about two times already?

Ryusuke: And isn’t this a rehash of a previous plot in one chapter?

Kohji: You’re telling me that you drag us out here and have us dress up in costumes just to explore some random haunted house?

Kai: Hey, it was hard getting these costumes from the shop ya know.

*Flashback*

Kai: *Humming while walking down the streets* *Hears galloping* Hm?

Headless Horseman: Hyah!!!

Kai: Oh shit! *Runs*

Headless Horseman: Hahahahahaha!!! *Throws pumpkin heads*

Kai: Wah! *Dodging them* Shit! Shit! Shit! *Hits a branch then gets crashed into the by the horseman* *Finds himself on the backseat of the horse*

Headless Horseman: *Pumpkin head turns to him* Ahahahahahahaha!

Kai: Ah! *Hits his head then jumps off* *Then sees a bridge nearby* *Runs toward it while dodging the pumkin heads thrown at him* Hah! *Jumps into the bridge and rushes to the other side*

Headless Horseman: *Stops and halts*

Kai: Haha! Betcha can’t cross the bridge, now can’t ya?

Headless Horseman: Rah!!! *Shakes fist in anger*

Kai: What’s wrong? The big scary Headless Horseman can’t cross a little bitty bridge? Too bad! Sucks for you! *Gets hit by the thrown pumpkin head*

Headless Horseman: *Flips him the bird before riding off*

Kai: *Splattered with pumpkin* Ew… I smell like Halloween! Oh wait, it is. *Wipes himself*

*Flashback Ends*

Kai: Besides, it’s not a REAL haunted house.

Kohji: You do know that nearly everything in there will hardly scare us right?

Kai: Meh. Not like we have anything to do.

*As they enter the haunted house, an unknown figures watches them*

???: Kukukuku… Let the fun begin.

*Inside the haunted house*

Kohji: This… is a joke.

Drei: Agreed.

Guy dressed as a ghost: Boo! I’m a scary ghost.

Kohji: Go get a job.

Ghost Guy: But this is the only job I have! ._. *Leaves crying*

Creepy Guy: *Appears behind Kai* I have come to eat your-

Kai: *Punches him* Whoops. Sorry. Reflexes.

*Suddenly a ghost parrot flies up to them*

???: Remember me, bitch?! It’s polly the parrot! The one who wants your momma’s sweet ass!

Kai: But in this continuity, apparently my mom is not alive.

Polly: Well, my dead mom. Now I’m gonna get revenge on ya for shooting me- *Suddenly a Shalkuth swoops in and eats him* Ahhhh!!!

Ryusuke: What was that all about?

Kai: *Shrugs* Dunno. Let’s keep moving.

*They read the sign “Yaoi Hall”*

All Four: … *Gulps*

Kai: Alright, men. Just keep your sanity and… run in as possible.

All Four: *Breathes deeply before rushing in* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*Few minutes, they come out of the Yaoi Hall*

Kai: Ugh… That so doesn’t go THERE.

Ryusuke: These eyes can’t unsee what was seen!

Drei: Meh. It wasn’t that bad. *Everyone looks at him* What?

Kai: Anyways… Well, so far this haunted house isn’t that scary.

Kohji: Told ya.

Ryusuke: *Sees a random person getting pulled into a coffin and then blood pours out of it* Say Kai, don’t you think these things are a bit too real for their taste?

Kai: Why would you say that? I mean whoever put this up must did a good job in making it look real.

Kohji: Maybe because it is real.

Kai: Oh come on now.

Drei: There are piles of corpses lying around.

Kai: Must be part of the attraction.

*A passerby walks in only to get cut in half by a swinging axe, splattering blood*

Kai: See? He must be part of the whole act. Hell, they even did it with the liquid to make it look like blood.

Kohji: *Checks* … It is blood.

Kai: …Oh… Well… damn.

???: Kukukuku! I zee that yous enjoying the haunted attraction!

Kai: And who are you?

???: I am… Daranjo! Ze vampire!

*Cricket chirps*

Kohji: Okay, we know you’re running out of ideas for villains but… this is just stupid.

Drei: Yeah, couldn’t you get that vampire guy from that one chapter?

Kai: He doesn’t exist anymore. Ask Ryusuke.

Ryusuke: I blame Twilight.

Daranjo: I seed that you enjoyed my attraction.

Kai: So you rigged all of these displays that kill people what for?

Daranjo: Daranjo was just bored.

Kai: Then what was the big deal with the yaoi hall?!

Daranjo: To screw around with people.

Kai; Well it worked!

Daranjo: There was a yuri one too but unfortunately it didn’t got much interest. Well for the non-male ones I mean.

Kohji and Drei: Oooh.

Kai: Enough! We’re just about done with your nonsense. We’re gonna kick your ass and go home and pretend that this never happened. Now, charge!

All Four: Hyah!

*Despite Daranjo’s lanky appearance, he proceeded to hand their own ass to them*

Drei: Did we just have our ass kicked by a gay ass vampire?

Kai: Unfortunately, yes.

Daranjo: Is that it? Daranjo is bored!

Kai: Damn, he’s annoying.

Ryusuke: I think we need to use our powers to beat him.

Kai: What? And make this into an action fic? Hell no.

Ryusuke: Kai, I don’t think playing with a toy would help.

Kai: Who said that this is a toy? Henshin! *Slots card into the Decadriver*

Decadriver: Kamen Ride! Decade!

Kohji: You mean that thing was real?!

Drei: Huh. *Slots card into Diendriver* *Pulls trigger*

Diendriver: Kamen Ride!

Drei: *Pulls trigger again*

Diendriver: Kamen Ride! Kamen Ride! Kamen Ride!

Drei: *Tosses it* Well, that just sucks.

Daranjo: Pink?

Kai: No it’s not pink! It’s magenta!

Ryusuke: They’re the same thing, Kai.

Drei: I thought this was a humor fic, not a Kamen Rider fanfic.

Kohji: *Shrugs*

Kai: *Changes RideBooker to Sword Mode* Alright, baldy. You’re going to more dead than before by the time I’m done with you.

Kohji: That doesn’t make sense.

Kai: Well it is to me. Hyah! *Slashes Daranjo*

Drei: Wait, what are we supposed to do? Just sit here and do nothing while you take on the main bad guy.

Kai: There are always the grunts to deal with.

Drei: What grunts?

*Suddenly, people who were dressed up as monsters earlier come out of nowhere reveal themselves to be vampires and surround them*

Kohji: Great, more vampires.

Ryusuke: I blame Twilight… Again!

Kai: Behold Decade’s power! First, I’ll start with Toei’s most popular and milked Kamen Rider! *Slots card into the Decadriver* *Closes hatch*

Decadriver: Kamen Ride: Den-O!

Kai: *Transforms into Den-O* Now behold the power of-

Daranjo: Peach?

Kai: No, it’s not peach! I’m going to kick your ass with this one! *Slots another card into the Decadriver*

Decadriver: Attack Ride! Ore Sanjou!

Kai: Ore… sanjou! *Poses*

Daranjo: What’s that supposed to be?

Kai: …You gotta be kidding me. Let’s try this again. *Takes out another card and inserts it into belt* *Transforms into Den-O Gun Form* *Twirls around* Kotae wa kiitenai!

Daranjo: Huh? Can you speak English please?

Kai: … What the… *Looks at cards “Nakerude” and “Bokuni Tsurare Miru?”* Shit… Why are his cards so useless?!

Daranjo: Okay, Daranjo kicking you’s butt now. *Speed past him, hitting him repeatedly*

Kai: Duwagh! *Is sent flying with the cards sent flying*

Decadriver Voice: Nakurede! Bokuni Tsurare Miru?!

*Meanwhile with the others*

Ryusuke: *Hitting the vampires with energy spikes* Stay back! I got ghost powers!

Drei: Does anyone know where Shoku is? *Whacks a vampire with a guitar*

*Elsewhere*

Shoku: *Is killing vampires left and right as the Segata Sanshiro theme plays* ^n.n^

*Segata Sanshiro! Segata Sanshiro! Sega Saturn shiro!*

Shoku: It’s vampire shootout all over again. ^n.n^;;; *Snaps one vampire’s neck*

*Back with Kai and Daranjo*

Kai: Ugh… It’s time for vampire for vampire. *Inserts card into Decadriver*

Decadriver: Kamen Ride: Kiva!

Kai: Alright let’s see what goodies this guy has… *Takes out cards and looks at them* Hey… What a moment, these are the same as Kuuga! What a ripoff!

Daranjo: *Kicks him*

Kai: Uwagh! *Reverts back to Decade* Alright, you have asked for it… It’s time to bring in big guns. *Takes out K-Touch and slides in the Final Kamen Ride card* *Presses on the screen*

K-Touch: Kuuga! Agito! Ryuki! Faiz! Blade! Hibiki! Kabuto! Den-O! Kiva! Final Kamen Ride! Decade!

Kai: You’re in for it now. Prepare yourself! *Takes out card and slots it into the Decadriver now attached to the side of the belt*

Decadriver: Final Attack Ride! D-D-Decade!

Kai: *Golden cards materializes in front of him* *Jumps in the air, flying through the kicks* SHORYAH!!!! *Kicks into Daranjo*

Daranjo: Gah! *Crashes through the wall*

Kai: *Lands, dusting hands* And that’s that!

Daranjo: Ugh… *Gets up, crackling with electricity then falls down* AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! *Explodes*

Kai: Oh crap! I probably used too much power! *Gets enveloped by the explosion* Whoa!

Kohji: Hm?

Drei: What’s that?

Ryusuke: I have a bad feeling about this…

*They see the explosion heading toward them*

Everyone: WHAT THE F-

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

*Skeleton pilot laughs evilly*

Kai: *Wakes up on his bed* Uwah!!! Huh? Oh it was just a dream. *Lays down* *Sees Decadriver next to him* *Eyes widen* *Evil laugh echoes in the background*

*Happy Halloween 2009!*

[Kai Yamato]

A lot of turkeys were harmed in the writing of this special.
Thanksgiving Special 2009

*Well, it’s that time again. 27th of November, Thanksgiving Day, where… everyone pretty stuff their faces for what purposes I have no idea. Anyways, Kai and co. is hunting for turkeys in a forest*

Drei: Why are we even going outside to hunt turkeys? Couldn’t we just get one from the supermarket?

Kai: *Wearing face paint and red headband, carrying tons of weapons* To experience the thrill of the hunt. Plus they’re out.

Ryusuke: Why are you dressed up like Rambo?

Drei: Isn’t that too much?

Kai: My friend, you can never have too much.

Kohji: So we’re going to hunt them?

Kai: Plus we don’t have to pay money for it.

Drei: We paid for the weapons. That definitely cost higher than what we could’ve gotten for the turkey.

Kohji: I don’t think I see any turkey in sight here.

*Turkey walks by*

Kai: Oh there’s one over there.

Kohji: Oh what do you know?

Turkey: Gobble?

Kai: *Takes out rocket launcher* Prepare to be taken with us, turkey. You’ll be coming us with dinner.

Turkey: Gobble?!

Kai: *Fires missile, creating an explosion that wipes out a portion of the forest*

Kohji: A rocket launcher to just hunt one turkey?!

Drei: What the hell, Kai?

Kai: Oh come on, now. Least I got it.

Drei: There isn’t any turkey left for us to take with us.

Turkey: Gobble… *Weakly climbs out*

Kai: Hey, it’s alive. Time to kill it again. *Pulls cap out of grenade and tosses it*

Kohji: Again?!

Turkey: Gobble! *Dodges it*

*The grenade lands near unknowing deer eating the grass where it proceeds to explode*

Kai: Aw crap. I missed it again.

Drei: Of course, you did. You throw it too far.

Kai: Time for a good ol’ ninja stars!

Kohji: Shuriken.

Kai: Whatever. *Tosses them at the turkey*

Turkey: Gobble!!! *Dodges and runs*

Kai: Hey, it’s getting away! *Takes out explosive shotgun and runs after it*

Kohji: Where the hell do he get these things?

Drei: I dunno.

Ryusuke: Soooo… what now?

Kohji: Stand here and let Kai take the majority of the humor scenes to himself? Sure, why not?

*Meanwhile with Kai in the forest, he is still chasing after the turkey*

Kai: Get back! *Keeps on shooting explosive rounds, destroying everything in his path*

Turkey: GOBBLE!!! *Frantically dodging every shots as possible*

Kai: Damn it! Why can’t you just stand still and be killed like every practical living thing out here?!

*It’s a wild goose chase (or perhaps I should say wild turkey chase?), it keep going throughout what appears to be the entirety of the forest until Kai manages to got it cornered*

Turkey: *Backs against the rock* G-gobble?!

Kai: *Aims gun at it* Day’s over, turkey. *Pulls trigger* *Click* *Click* Huh? Aw shit, I ran out of ammo.

Turkey: *Sighs in relief* Gobble.

Kai: Oh wait, I still have one thing left!

Turkey: Gobble?!

Kai: *Takes out sword* Hyah! *Chops its head off*

Ryusuke: You could’ve done that in the first place, dood.

Kai: Meh. I killed it at least. Come on; let’s take it to the car. *Drags the turkey’s dead body by the leg*

*Meanwhile, another turkey was watching this and runs off to a very hidden place populated by turkeys and from here, we switch from human English to turkey speak*

Turkey 1: It’s that time of that year.

Turkey 2: Yup. Where humans hunt one of our own and cooked them for dinner.

Turkey 1: Bob was killed just now.

Turkey 2: Bob?! Oh man, he just have baby little chicks. Now what are they going to do without a father?

Turkey 1: There, there, Will. We won’t let those humans do as they please with our kind.

Turkey 2: I can not take it anymore! I will talk to the Elder!

Turkey 1: Wait, you shouldn’t bother him at this time!

*Inside the cave, the Turkey Elder dwells*

Turkey 2: Elder, we must talk.

Turkey Elder: Is it time? Very well then.

Turkey 2: Elder, what do you mean?

Turkey Elder: For million of years, we turkeys existed in peace and harmony. However, when the humans came, we were hunted and feasted upon. We turkeys had no chance of winning however. However, as humans advanced, we can advance too.

Turkey 2: Do you really mean that, Elder?

Turkey Elder: Today is the time for that to come. With your bravery and passion, you are fit to be Turkey Leader.

Turkey Leader (Turkey 2): Seriously? This is an honor, elder!

Turkey 1: Wait, no name change for me?

Turkey Elder: Eh, you’ll get your chance. *To Turkey Leader* Now my son, do what you think is right.

Turkey Leader: My people, the day has come! The day we rebel against the humans for treating us as food stock! Now, my brothers… Attack!

Turkeys: Gobble!

*Elsewhere with Kai and co., they’re trying to load the turkey in the trunk*

Kai: Come on, fit. Fit!

Kohji: We should’ve gotten a bigger car. >_>:

Ryusuke: *Sees a crowd of turkeys coming out of nowhere* Hey, turkeys. There sure are a lot of them. *Turkeys advances toward him* Uh guys, I don’t like this.

Kai: What? Why?

Ryusuke: *Suddenly the turkeys starts pecking on him* The turkeys are attacking! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Kai: Ryu! You got ghost powers!

Ryusuke: Huh? Oh yeah! I do! =D *Becomes intangible and walks through the turkeys*

*They all immediately get inside the car*

Drei: What about the turkey?

Kai: Leave the turkey behind, damn it! We’re getting out of here!

*Kai revs the car’s engine and pulls the lever, driving off, leaving behind the dead turkey. The turkeys gather around the dead turkey*

Turkey Leader: We shall give this fallen turkey a proper burial. Turkeys, do not falter about this loss! This is just the beginning!

*Back with Kai and co.*

Ryusuke: What was that all about that?

Kai: I have no idea.

*As they drove in the city, they see a gruesome sight, turkeys attacking the human society*

Kai: Well, you don’t see that everyday.

Turkey: *Jumps into the car window* Gobble! Gobble!

Kai: Holy shit! *Punches it out then closes the window* Quick, to our usual place! *Drives faster, running over a few turkeys on the way*

*Inside the café, they nailed the windows and doors shut*

Kai: Well this sucks, no turkey, no Thanksgiving.

Ryusuke: I’m sure there’s something else we can do.

Kai: With the turkeys running amok outside, I doubt we’ll do anything. They can’t stop us from doing anything inside though. *Turns on HD TV* Oh yeah, Thanksgiving marathons in high definition, baby.

News Anchorwoman: We are here with breaking news. All subsequent scheduled broadcasts will be cancelled.

Kai: … What?!

News Anchorwoman: Turkeys’ behavior has suddenly shifted aggressively and is now attacking the humans. Here’s a word from the President.

President: We here will not tolerate the actions the Turks have taken toward us. *Suddenly a man walk up to him and whisper into his ear* What?! You mean actual turkeys?! You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?!

Ryusuke: We have a President?

Kai: Great, what are we supposed to do now?!

Kohji: There’s football.

Kai: Eh, okay. *Changes channel*

News Anchorwoman: In shocking news, the turkeys has attacked and killed the football players! Not only that, they cooked and eaten them in retribution for our treatment of them!

Kai: … *Turns off TV*

Drei: We’re going to do something about it, aren’t we?

Kai: No. We went through this several times. It always has to be us that will save the day. No more! This is Thanksgiving, damn it! It’s our holiday to take a break!

*Later*

Kai: You know what, let’s do this.

Drei, Kohji, and Ryusuke: Yup. We knew this was going to happen.

Shoku: *Sleeping in the background* ^Z.Z^; Zzzz… Zzzzzz….

*Meanwhile*

Turkey 1: Sir, looks everything is going as planned.

Turkey Leader: Good, soon the humans will realize our power.

Kai: Not so fast, ya overgrown hens!

Turkey Leader: How did you find this place?!

Kai: It’s not that hard to find you especially when you don’t see a huge gathering of turkeys’ everyday.

Turkey Leader: Dumbo!

Turkey 3 (Dumbo): Durrr…

Turkey 1: Eating those humans maybe was a bad idea.

Turkey Leader: Anyways, what are you here for?

Kai: To put a stop to you ruining Thanksgiving.

Turkey Leader: Oh really now? So you can enjoy the slaughtering of our race?

Kai: Yes. That’s pretty much what you’re supposed to be. The weak dies and the strong devours them. It’s natural selection, bitch.

Turkey Leader: Oh, so now you humans see yourself as the top of the food chain?

Kai: Yes. Below a few animals, actually.

Ryusuke: Since when did this erupt into a discussion about Darwinism?

Turkey Leader: Hah! But you forgot, what can four people like yourselves do to us?!

Kai: Well, we’re super-powered non-humans. Even with your overwhelming numbers, I doubt you can do much.

Turkey Leader: We’ll see about that!

*… Shouldn’t you guys be in two different languages now?*

Turkey Leader: Now, men… Attack!

*The two groups start charging toward each but stop when rain starts falling from the sky*

Turkey 4: Look! Rain!

Turkey 2: Amazing! For some reason, I can’t stop looking up!

Turkey Leader: No, you fool! Don’t! Argh!

*The turkeys look up at the sky as rain drops on them, one by one they drop after drowning in the rain until the last, the rain stops*

Kai: Well… That was unexpected.

Ryusuke: Ditto.

Kohji: Didn’t need to do anything at all. Nature did it for us. >.>

Drei: Looks like we can enjoy Thanksgiving without worrying about turkeys rebelling against us.

Kai: Yeah. Let’s go grab us one. *Is about to pick up a dead turkey* … Ya know, I don’t think I’d want to eat turkey this Thanksgiving.

Ryusuke: Yeah… Me too.

Kohji: I have enough of turkey today.

Kai: Yeah. Let’s go settle for pizza.

Drei: Pizza’s good.

*They walk away*

*And so with the turkey defeated (without any effort by the heroes whatsoever), our heroes decided to enjoy their Thanksgiving with pizza*

*Happy Thanksgiving 2009*