The Adventure of Jackass the Clown, He'll cut you, bitch.

[Emerald]

"Alright, now who replaced this woman's' vagina with a penis?" Jackass the Clown shouted from his place in the transsexual bar, where he had just pulled down a sheman's pink panties with his teeth. He soon got his ass kicked out of the run down establishment by five shemen who were half occupied fisting themselves, and half occupied hitting the clown over the head with their gigantic tits.

Jackass the clown fell outside the door with a thud, landing on his ass and breaking every bone in his anus. He bled silently for awhile, wondering why the bar was called "Tranny's R Us" if it wasn't full of sexy Transylvanian vampiresses.

Getting his shit together, the clown dressed in the finest hobo washcloths available stood up and made ready to continue his ever lasting journey. Finding that he had no means of transportation, he whistled for a cab and when it came near... he got inside and had a very pleasant drive to Albuquerque, New Mexico.

"Perhaps what I have been searching for all my life can be found here..." Jackass contemplated as a scorpion stabbed him in the head repeatedly with it's stinger. Sadly, the scorpion was impotent, and no scorpion-man hybrids were born that day or the next.

CONTINUE IT! There are no rules, except not to let it die.

[Emerald]

After stopping at a digital cafe to double-post on his favorite blue forum, Jackass the clown decided to ask if any of the Albuquerqueiens had seen that which he was searching for. He found a nun on the street corner, and approached the woman tentatively.

"Excuse me Miss, but would you might telling me if you have seen this man?" Jackass asked, holding out a photograph of another clown that looked much like himself, only with an indescribably evil glare obscuring the painted-on happy features. "If you can answer me correctly, I'll make you a balloon animal!"

"Hmm, can't say that I've ever seen that man. But I did see the face of Jesus once. Yep, it's true. There I was, hallucinating on peyote when..." the nun was cut off in mid sentance.

"WRONG!" Jackass channeled the pure unbridled hated of Lex Luther as he shouted into the woman's face, and then beat her over the head mercilessly with a black jack. When the flimsy poker card failed to do so much as scar the nun's leathery skin, he abandoned his unsuccessful murder weapon and ran from the police for three hours straight. After his wanted level had returned to zero stars, he felt it was safe to come out of hiding from the cardboard box he was currently sharing with Solid Snake.

"Thanks for the help, Snake, but I gotta jet!" the clown thanked the grizzled old man. Then the children entertainer did a boost to get through the side of the box, and barrel rolled onto the street.

"Don't go..." Snake whimpered from inside the box, a single tear moving down his cheek slowly.

Jackass continued to fly around town for quite some time before he realized that his imaginary Arwing was taking heavy fire! He turned around just in time to see another man in an invisible fighter craft locking on and firing a plasma blast.

"Can't let you do that, Star Clown!" the unknown protagonist shouted as the orb exploded against the rear engine of Jackass' aircraft. Stuggling with the invisible controls, the clown managed to land in an unoccupied field. The unidentified star fighter landed his 'arwing' lazily, and stepped out onto the ground to face his foe in hand-to-hand combat.

"I don't know who you are, but I know who I am! And I NEVER play fair!" Jackass the Clown shouted, and then snapped his fingers repeatedly in what could be assumed to be the tune of a Mexican lap dance song.

The unknown and unimportant assassin just watched this display with increasing wonder, revulsion, and sexual excitement. He was snapped out of this reverie when the fist of a giant Gundam lept out of the ground beneath him and FALKON PAUNCHed him into the sun.

"Good job, Shining Gundam!" Jackass the Clown shouted as the mech dug itself out of the sand with noticeable effort. "Now lets go find that evil brother of mine!"

CONTINUE IT!... seriously, we're supposed to be taking turns writing this thing.

[Don Ko]

jackthe clown look at lex luther and say:
"hlelo lex what are you doung in my house"
andj lex say "hlekec"
all iwahnted to do was the pumpkings and find somthing pretyy to loo kat