donko is not dead - November 11, 2007 02:18 AM (GMT)
AN EPIC STORY OF MURDER AND CROSSDRESSING!
It was 12:00. At night. Savara and his friends were getting high off cough syrup when all of a sudden, the phone rang.
Savara stopped what he was doing pseudo-immediately and wobbled over to the phone. He stood there for a few minutes until he figured out that the phone had been ringing, at which point he picked it up.
"Hello, this is the government!" said the government.
The government and Savara were having an interesting conversation about lizards, when all of a sudden ninjas crashed through his windows.
"I'll call you back," said Savara.
Savara ran into his room and picked up his unconscious friends.
Then he dropped them due to the fact that he had small pox and the bubonic plague, and therefore died immediately. The ninjas who had broken into the house only minutes earlier heard Savara fall in the other room, and rushed over to see what had happened.
"ZOMG THIS GUY IS DEAD!!1" said one of the ninjas, who just happened to be named Dosu.
"ZOMG NO WAI" said the other ninja, who just happened to be named TKRKS.
They both decided to slice him open and cook his bowels. A feast they would have that night.
2 hours later, Savara's friends awoke and found Savara's legs and part of his torso sprawled across the floor.
"Well, looks like ninjas broke in and killed him," said one of Savara's friends, who just happened to be named Nami.
"Indeed," said another one of Savara's friends, who just happened to be named Yoshi.
"I third that," said another one of Savara's friends, who just happened to be named XeonV.
"I fourth that," said another one of Savara's friends, who just happened to be named Key.
"I fifth that," said another one of Savara's friends, who just happened to be named Nerdman.
"I sixth that," said another one of Savara's friends, who just happened to be named Ben.
"I seventh that," said another one of Savara's friends, who just happened to be named Lisa.
"I eighth that," said another one of Savara's friends, who just happened to be named Donko.
"I ninth that," said another one of Savara's friends, who just happened to be named Merica.
"I tenth that," said another one of Savara's friends, who just happened to be named Gilda.
"I eleventh that," said Savara's dog, who could talk due to a magic spell that a witch cast on him 25 years ago.
"We should track down those ninjas, and kill them!" said XeonV, clutching Savara's intestines in a fit of rage.
"Indeed, we should," said Yoshi.
"In the meantime, I must go shave off my beard!" said Gilda, who resented her manliness.
Dosu and TKRKS ran out of the house, katanas in hand, and made a break for the 7-11 convenience store.
"Give me a monster energy drink, NAO!" yelled TKRKS with his katana held at the cashiers throat.
"O-o-okay, that'll be six-fifty," stuttered the cashier, pissing his pants in fear.
"Oh... I only have a five... Dosu, have any spare moneys?"
"No, I'm broke,"
"Will a five do?" asked TKRKS to the cashier.
The cashier broke free of TKRKS's hold and sprinted towards the door.
"I guess that's a yes," said Dosu.
Meanwhile, Savara's friends jumped in Savara's 2007 Hummer/Limo, which could hold up to ten people, plus a dog.
"Ready or not, here we cum!" said Donko.
"No, no wait, you spelled that wrong, that's the sexual spelling of cum," said Yoshi.
"Oh -- oh you're right, I need to stop doing that," said Donko.
They zoomed off at 50 miles per hour, but had to stop for gas 15 minutes later due to the fact that it was guzzling up too much gas.
TO BE CONTINUED
donko is not dead - November 11, 2007 07:26 AM (GMT)
Savara - Episode Two - Highway Blues
LAST TIME ON SAVARA
Savara was killed
Cashiers were billed
You, the reader, chuckled slightly
The Hummer/Limo sped down the highway in a search to find the two ninjas that had killed Savara, Dosu and TKRKS. Sadly, they were two hours ahead of them, and jacked up on Monster Energy Drinks, so it was hard to catch up with them.
Dosu and TKRKS, though, were in a 1978 Mercedes vehicle with no hubcaps and the driver's door missing. And they had just struck a flat.
"Aww, man," said Dosu disappointedly.
"How are we going to get to the hideout now?"
"This, my friend," said TKRKS, taking a small firearm out of his pocket.
"What is it?"
"It's the Aperture Science Hand-held Portal Device," exclaimed TKRKS.
"It creates portals."
"Sweet, let me try it out!" said Dosu, who hastily grabbed the Portal Device from TKRKS's hands.
"'WARNING: Do Not Aim At Face'. I wonder why not?" said Dosu questioningly.
Dosu fired the weapon at the floor, and then at a building a few hundred feet away. Dosu and TKRKS both stepped into the portal, and just like that, they had progressed a few hundred feet in less then 5 seconds.
They repeated the process as steadfast as Spiderman and his web slinging, until they go to their hideout.
"Boy, that was fun," said Dosu to TKRKS as they both proceeded into their hideout, an old abandoned 'Build-A-Bear' workshop.
Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away, Savara's friends were at a local gas station, getting gas for the 42nd time since their trek started.
"We can't go on like this," said Lisa.
"You're right, we can't," exclaimed XeonV.
"The miles on this thing is out. It's dead."
"But we've only been riding for 30 minutes!" said Gilda whilst tugging at her beard, already 3 feet long from her chin.
"It's a Hummer/Limo, what do you expect?" said XeonV as he was trying to wipe a gas stain out from the bottom of his robe.
Suddenly, a boy rode by on a bicycle.
Savara's friends noticed him and started running after him.
Of course, the kid who was riding the bicycle... couldn't ride it that well and fell off and skid across the pavement.
Donko ran over to the kid, bleeding and crying from his fall.
He picked him up and held him at the neck with furious fury.
"Who are you? Answer quickly!" yelled Donko as he shook the kid around.
"AAUGH AUUGH!!.... Well... sniff... My name is Motor... but my friends call me 'Bag of Filth'..." said the boy.
Donko threw the kid on the ground, and said to his friends, "GET ON THE BIKE BEFORE THE KID GETS UP, HURRY!"
All of Savara's friends, plus his dog, all started riding on the 1 person bicycle. Donko, who was of course, an expert bike rider, started riding at over 50 miles per hour.
The kid, whose identity was never fully distinguished, lay on the ground until he died of blood loss.
"My liege, I have carried out your task,"
"Very good, TKRKS... now all we have to do is take care of his pesky friends."
"But I thought they were dead!"
"Nay, unconscious. Our friends over at the Hummer-Limo company say they have been riding in one of their vehicles lately."
"Should we go find it?"
"Nay. The vehicle is dead, and cannot be ridden any more."
"Should we go look for them?"
Speedfox - November 11, 2007 12:29 PM (GMT)
yoshi-san - November 11, 2007 02:43 PM (GMT)
Cool :D. Please continue soon!
donko is not dead - April 17, 2008 01:10 AM (GMT)
I guess I'll drag the rest over from BWA...
Savara - Episode Three - Homeless Rising
It was 12:00. At night. Again. Savara's friends had already progressed 200 miles on their newfound bicycle. All was well.
"I HAVE TO PEE!" screamed Nami.
"Alright, we'll pull over at this conveniently placed convenience store," said Donko, who pulled over at the conveniently placed convenience store.
Nami rushed in to pee, while the others stayed outside.
Donko put his hand in his pocket and started to pull out something really slowly.
"So... anyone up for some weed?" said Donko, revealing that what he was pulling out was a joint.
"Sure, I'll go for some," said Yoshi, taking the cigarette from Donko's hands.
He put it in his mouth, fiddled it around with his tongue until it was in perfect positioning, and then lit it.
"Wow... this is..." said Yoshi, unable to finish his sentence due to the spell that the pot had already put over him.
"Yeah, yeah, I know!" said Donko.
"Here, gimme some!" said XeonV.
They all passed it around until they all had a drag.
Nami came out of the store, and said, "Okay, I'm ready.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, came a homeless person.
"Spare some change, sir?"
"I'm... not a sir..." said Gilda, too high to speak.
"What's with you?" asked Nami, who missed the joint passing.
"Spare some change, ma'am?" asked the homeless person to Nami.
"Sure, I've got some right here," said Nami whilst giving the homeless person a quarter.
"Spare some change, ma'am?" asked the homeless person to Nami, again.
"Yeah, yeah, I just gave you some," said Nami, anxious to get back on the road.
"GIVE ME YOUR CHANGE!" yelled the homeless person, who jumped on Nami's back and started chewing on her hair.
Nami started screaming and running around in circles.
The rest of Nami's friends were still high though and thought this was a normal side effect of getting high.
Suddenly, thousands of homeless people came from behind the corner store.
Nami managed to get the homeless person that was on her back off of her, and immediately after hopped on the bike and started to pedal.
Donko began to get sober and saw the predicament that Nami, and ultimately, the rest of his friends and himself were about to get into.
He began throwing all of his change at the homeless people, hoping to hurt them so they would back off. One of the quarters that he happened to throw impaled a homeless person in the head and came straight out, bloody and worthless.
"AIM FOR THE HEAD!" yelled Donko to the others, who instantly became sober. They took out all of their change and chucked it at the homeless people.
"This is for Sparta," said Savara's dog, who spit out a $1 coin at a homeless person.
Of course, this was not enough, Nami was missing and the homeless people were surrounding Savara's friends.
XeonV quickly pulled out a roll of quarters from under his robe, and armed his Desert Eagle with them.
He aimed at a group of homeless people standing in a perfect line, and shot the leading one in the head. The quarter passed through the whole line of homeless people's heads and killed them all.
"What are you doing with a Desert Eagle, anyway?" asked Merica.
"I keep it for situations like this," said XeonV, blowing off the smoke from his Deagle.
XeonV kept on shooting his quarters at the homeless people, killing hundreds.
Until he ran out of quarters, that is.
"Oh crap, I ran out of quarters!" said XeonV, going through his robe for more quarters.
"We're screwed," said Gilda, who was still rummaging through her beard for more quarters.
Suddenly, a tank came out of nowhere and crushed all of the homeless people under its tracks.
After the tank was done crushing all of the homeless people, the cap fell off and Nami climbed out.
"Where'd you get a tank from?" asked Donko.
"Beats me," she said.
"At least now we don't have to use that bike," said XeonV.
They all climbed into the tank and drove off into the sunset.
TO BE CONTINUED
donko is not dead - April 17, 2008 01:10 AM (GMT)
Episode 4 - The Cave of Shave
It was 8:00. In the morning. Savara's friends had progressed many miles by their newfound tank, but it was much slower then the bicycle.
But it did have a refrigerator.
"Hey guys, look at that," said Savara's dog, who was peeking out of the cap of the tank. There was a huge cave on their left.
"What, what is it?" asked XeonV.
"It's... it's a cave," said Savara's dog.
"Let me see," said Donko, pushing away Savara's dog and pushing open the cap.
"Yeah, yeah, that's a pretty huge cave alright."
"Should we go inside it?" asked XeonV.
"I don't know... It'll be epic," said XeonV.
Everyone got out of the tank and began to venture into the cave.
"Wow, this sure is a big cave alright," said Gilda.
"Yeah, and just feel the walls... they're all wet," said XeonV, running his hands over the wall.
The group went even deeper into the cave, until they came to a giant hole in the ground.
XeonV peered into the hole.
"It's pitch black, I can't see the bottom."
"Use my flashlight," said Donko.
XeonV took Donko's flashlight and shined it down the hole.
"It's only 6 feet deep, come on, jump down," said XeonV.
Everyone jumped down into the hole.
"Wait... I see light over there," said Merica.
"Let's go over there!"
"Hold on, just let me get my beard out of my shirt..." said Gilda, who was sick and tired of her beard.
"I'm sick and tired of my beard, you know that?"
The group ran towards the light, eventually coming to a huge door, about 12 feet high.
"Okay guys, push it, let's see what's in here," said Donko.
They pushed as hard as they could and the door eventually opened.
They walked inside, looking around.
"This looks like a giant thrift store," said Nami.
"It is," said an unknown voice.
"I am The Stallion," said The Stallion, revealing himself to be... a stallion.
"Hello The Stallion, I am Nami, and I like trees," said Nami, who liked trees.
"Wait a sec... you're a woman... Women don't belong in here, I HATE WOMEN!" yelled The Stallion.
"Hey, I'm a woman! That means you hate me!" said Lisa.
"So?" asked The Stallion.
"I'm a stallion. I'm THE Stallion. So get out or I shall maul you with my epic hooves."
All of the women rushed out in terror, except for Gilda, who hid underneath her beard.
"So... what is this place?" asked nerdman.
"It's a thrift store," said The Stallion.
"Oh really?" asked XeonV.
"What can I buy?"
"Stuff," said The Stallion, walking over to a pedestal holding an item with a glass casing over it.
The Stallion lifted the glass case and revealed the item.
"This..." started The Stallion.
"is The Ultra Shaver."
"The... Ultra Shaver?" said Gilda to herself.
"If you use this shaver in this very room, the area you shave will NEVER GROW BACK. Just think of all the things you could shave with this, hair, armpit hair, pu--"
"Can... Can I use that shaver?" asked Gilda to The Stallion.
"Sure, you have a beard worthy of shaving.... You are a man, right?" asked The Stallion.
"Y-yeah. Just gimme the shaver."
The Stallion lifted the Ultra Shaver and started to hand it to Gilda.
But as he handed it to Gilda, he noticed something about her.
He noticed that she had boobs.
"YOU ARE NOT A MAN, YOU HAVE BOOBS!" yelled The Stallion with rage.
"GILDA COME ON, WE NEED TO GET OUT!" yelled XeonV.
Gilda disregarded both The Stallion and XeonV, and grabbed the shaver from The Stallion's hoove.
Suddenly, the cave began to cave in.
"I AM TAKING THIS CAVE DOWN AND ALL OF YOU WITH ME!" yelled The Stallion.
"Gilda, hurry! Drop the shaver! We need to get out!" yelled Savara's dog.
Gilda's life began to flash before her eyes. She knew this was a bad sign, and dropped the shaver due to impulse. She knew in her heart she would regret that moment for the rest of her life.
The Stallion was crushed by a huge bolder, and Gilda started to scream a very feminine like scream. She and the others ran out the door with the women.
"What the heck is going on??" asked Nami.
"The cave is caving in!" yelled Donko, and everyone began running.
They came to the hole which lead up to the surface.
"How do we get up??" asked Nami.
"Everyone, get on my back and climb up!" said Savara's dog.
Everyone started to climb up, ending with Gilda.
"But how will you get up??" asked Gilda.
"Here--stick out your hand, I'll--"
His sentence was ended by a falling boulder which covered up the hole.
Gilda stood there for a second before she realized what happened.
Savara's dog would be stranded there until he was killed by falling boulders.
"What a horrible way to go," said Gilda to herself.
"Come on Beardface, we have to go!" said Donko to Gilda.
"Where's the dog?" asked Donko.
"Oh well! No one really ever cared about him anyway!"
"Yeah, I guess you're right," said Gilda.
If Gilda hadn't used her selfish impulses to shave her beard, then everything would have been fine.
The next day, she was gone.
"Where is Gilda?" asked Merica, who had just woken up and couldn't find her.
"Read this," said Donko, morbidly.
Donko handed a note to Merica.
After today's experience, I was overcome with guilt and sadness. I had many emotions running through my mind at that time, including my selfish impulse for my beard to be shaven. Of course, I killed Savara's dog, and I shaved off only half of my beard, so now I look like a hopeless mess. I don't know what to do next, so I am running away. Maybe I'll commit suicide, or maybe I'll take up a new life as a therapist. Don't ask me, because you'll never be able to ask me, because I'm gone. And never coming back.
P.S: Don't come looking for me."
TO BE CONTINUED
donko is not dead - April 17, 2008 01:11 AM (GMT)
Here is the new one, it's a bit more serious then the other ones but it's still pretty darn cool. :D
Episode 5 - Dosu and TKRKS' Excellent Adventure
It was 5:00. At night. Dosu and TKRKS had just finished their weight lifting for that night, and they decided to go out on the town.
"This is a good idea," said Dosu.
"I'm worried that Savara's friends will get here soon," said TKRKS.
"Don't worry about anything, they ditched their Hummer-limo a loong time ago, it'll take them months to get here!"
Dosu and TKRKS walked down the streets, throwing random pickup lines at random women.
"Hey, hey lady!" yelled TKRKS to a lady.
"Oh, what can I do for you, young man?" asked the lady.
"Did you fall from heaven?" asked TKRKS, who was horrendously bad at pickup lines.
"Oh, why, what a nice boy."
"Because it looks like you fell on your face!" said TKRKS.
He started laughing like a maniac until the lady whacked him with her purse and knocked him unconscious.
He woke up about 5 minutes later, when Dosu poured water on him.
"What... what happened?" asked TKRKS in a daze.
"That lady knocked you out with her purse,"
"Oh, oh really? With a purse? How is that possible?"
"Yeah, yeah, well, I was wondering that too, so I stole her purse, looked through it... turned out she was smuggling bricks," said Dosu.
"I turned her into the cops, they gave me reward money for turning her in," said Dosu, holding up an $100 bill.
Dosu helped TKRKS up.
"We have enough money to go to the greatest place on Earth now," said Dosu, pointing to the nearest Hooters.
Both of them broke out into a sprint and ran into the Hooters.
They both ran to a table, panting, and one of the women came over to take their order.
"I am taking your order... what do you want?" said the waitress, lacking enthusiasm.
"Wow, you lack enthusiasm," said TKRKS.
"You lack your face," said the waitress, blowing a bubble with her bubblegum.
"You lack a soul! Now are you going to take our order or not?" asked Dosu impatiently.
"I was beginning to wonder the same thing," said the waitress.
"I'll have the Buffalo Hotwings..." said Dosu.
TKRKS stared at the waitress blankly.
"Yo, TKRKS, you there?" asked Dosu, snapping his fingers in front of TKRKS's face.
"This is why I hate this job..." said the waitress.
"What kind of name is TKRKS anyway?"
"Why, is your name any better?" asked Dosu, still snapping his fingers.
"My name? My name is unimportant, I don't want you two to stalk me, anyway," said the 'unnamed' waitress.
"Crystal, why aren't you doing your job? You've been standing there for 5 minutes? I don't pay you to shoot the..." started the unnamed waitress's boss.
"I'm extremely sorry, has she showed you her hooters?" apoligized the unnamed waitress's boss to Dosu and TKRKS.
"Suprisingly not," said Dosu.
"Can we get a refund? This is getting boring," said Dosu.
"Refund? No, no refund for you," said the unnamed waitress.
"Oh come on, Crystal, gi--" started Dosu.
"Don't... ever call me that..." said the waitress.
"That's it, Crystal, you're fir--" started Crystal's boss.
"You can't fire me, I quit," said Crystal, who stormed out of the restaurant.
"Do you boys still want anything?" said Crystal's former boss.
"Jeez, she interrupts everyone," said Dosu.
"Yeah..." said Crystal's former boss.
"But boy, she was something," said TKRKS.
"Hey, you were out of it for a second there," said Dosu.
"Where'd she go, anyway?" asked TKRKS.
Dosu and TKRKS exitted the Hooters, and started to walk back to their hideout.
They kept on walking, Dosu throwing the same pickup lines and most of the same women, who responded to him in the same way: "Back off, pervert!" followed by a quick kick in the shin.
TKRKS, though, was not saying anything, not even one crappy pickup line.
"Dude, what's wrong?" asked Dosu to TKRKS.
"I... I think I'm in love with that waitress," said TKRKS.
"I don't know why, there was just something strangely attractive about her."
"Well... let's go find her!" said Dosu encouragingly, and right when he was about to turn around to go look for her, both TKRKS and Dosu heard something in the alley behind them.
It was crying.
Both of them walked into the alley to see the very same waitress from the Hooters, sitting next to the dumpster, crying.
"Hey--that's her, right?" asked Dosu.
TKRKS began to step towards her, and right as he got within 4 feet of her and began to ask her what was wrong, she pulled a switchblade out of her sock and held it against TKRKS's throat.
"Who--who are you?" asked Crystal.
"You're that guy from the restaurant... right?"
Dosu pulled out his katana and started to swing at Crystal.
"One airing twitch of my fingers and your little friend... TCAKS... or whatever his name is... will die," said Crystal to Dosu.
"I have no moral that I may need to put an end to him."
"What's a girl like you doing carrying around a knife anyway?" asked Dosu.
"That's none of your buisness," said Crystal, tightening the grip on her switchblade.
"Oh really?" asked Dosu.
He inched closer to Crystal.
"What's your name?" asked Crystal.
Dosu inched closer.
"You know mine."
Dosu inched even closer.
"N-no, I don't, say it again," said Dosu.
Dosu inched even closer.
Crystal noticed this, and said "I can see you coming closer to me, you know."
And then she noticed Dosu's katana, and instantly dropped her switchblade, letting TKRKS free.
TKRKS instantly got up and began to run, but Dosu caught him by the hair and pulled him over.
"Are we going to have to kill you?" asked Dosu.
"Th-that sword, where'd you get it?" asked Crystal, in awe.
"WalMart," said Dosu.
"Hattori Hanzo made it for you, didn't you?"
"No, no seriously, I got it from WalMart!"
Dosu loosened his stance a bit, and Crystal took this chance to pull out her revolver and aim it straight at him.
"So... is this going anywhere?" asked Crystal.
"I took that Hooters job only because I needed extra cash, that's not my profession."
"Well... what is?" asked Dosu, dropping his sword.
TKRKS also dropped his.
"I'm a thief," said Crystal, walking over to Dosu and TKRKS and picking up their fallen swords.
"Wow, these look expensive," said Crystal, looking over the katanas. But then she read the engraving in the hilt even closer.
"You two wouldn't happen to be... ninjas... would you?" asked Crystal.
"We are," said TKRKS, in a manly voice.
"We're ninjas of the Sound clan."
Crystal started to run out of the alley but was ambushed by even more ninjas.
"I guess they heard my signal," said TKRKS.
TO BE CONTINUED
donko is not dead - April 17, 2008 01:12 AM (GMT)
Episode 6: Herring
It was 12:00. At night. A man named Nightfox was walking down the forest path when he came down to a beautiful creek which he decided to rest by. He started to stare at the creek, looking at all of the fish swimming through it. He was hungry, so he decided to pick up a stick that he found on the ground and spear some fish. He stabbed a herring, pulled it out, and hung it over a fire. He took a nap, and when he awoke the herring was fully cooked. He skinned it, cleaned it out, and took a bite. But just as he took the bite, he heard something rustling in the bushes. He lay the fish on the ground, and slowly got up.
"Who's there?" he said.
He began to inch towards the bushes, and just as soon as he was two feet away from the bushes, something jumped out at him. They both wrestled on the ground until Nightfox got free and began to run. His attacker pulled out a staff and cast a magic spell on him. Many herring jumped out of the creek that moment and tackled Nightfox. He struggled to get free, but couldn't. As soon as the attacker got in pointblank range to him, he said, "Alright, herring, you did your job well, back to the water with you!" The herring followed his command and wormed across the ground and into the creek.
The attacker crouched down and stared at Nightfox. Now, this wasn't just any old look, not the "Hi, I'm John, who are you?" look, this was the "Hi, I'm John, I'ma beat you to death!" look. Nightfox knew better then to stick around and tried to get away, but the man put his foot on Nightfox's shirt, not allowing him to get free.
"What you did is unforgivable," said the man.
He looked back at the skinned herring, and threw out his hand, wiggled his fingers around, and started chanting. The herring eventually came back to life with its skin, and wriggled back into the river, and swam back to its wife and children, who were worried sick about him.
"That herring had a family, and you struck it down with no remorse," said the man, starting to stand.
"You must pay!" The man raised his staff again and began to chant again. The wind started rushing at vicious speeds and the sky began to get darker. Nightfox's life flashed before his eyes, the day he was born, the day he first walked, and the time he was first stabbed in the wrist by a madman in an alley.
Then Nightfox realized his life sucked. He had been wandering throughout the forest his whole life, without a purpose other then survival. He put his hands together and made a prayer.
"Please, God, I just want to do one helpful thing before I die," muttered Nightfox under his breath, which could not be heard by anyone else who wasn't in the vicinity of two centimeters, due to all the rushing wind and crumbling leaves.
Nightfox looked up above the man's head and saw that an unsteady boulder was about to fall off the cliff that was about 50 feet above him.
"Look out!" yelled Nightfox.
The man turned his head and saw the boulder, which had just falled off at that moment.
He jumped out of the way and Nightfox rolled to the side, and started to run off as fast as he could. He ran for hours, only taking minutes of break time. He kept on running until he came across a tank treading across the road. He ran to it and began pounding on the tank exterior.
"You guys hear something?" asked Donko.
"No," said Nami.
Donko decided to open up the cap and look outside. He saw Nightfox pounding at the tank, screaming "LEMME IN, LEMME IN!"
"Hurry, climb on!" said Donko.
Nightfox climbed up and jumped into the tank.
Everyone instantly dropped what they were doing in surprise. Nami stopped knitting, Merica stopped drawing, XeonV stopped writing, Lisa stopped reading, Key stopped Gimping, and Nerdman stopped cutting his wrists.
"Uh... hi," said Nightfox.
"Who are you?" asked Nami.
"I'm Nightfox," said Nightfox.
"What kind of name is Nightfox?" asked Merica.
"I'm indian, don't be racist," said Nightfox, who took a seat at the nearby beanbag chair.
"So, Nightfox, what was up with the pounding?" asked XeonV.
Nightfox told them the whole story with great detail.
"So, Nightfox, is this crazy herring shaman still following you around?" asked Donko.
"I wouldn't doubt it, he told me what I did was 'unforgivable'," said Nightfox.
Donko sighed, and said "We can't keep you, you're a liability, the shaman..."
But then he looked in Nightfox's eyes, and saw Nightfox's life flashing before his eyes.
He stood there for a moment, in awe, and then gave in.
"Wow, your life sucks."
"Yeah, I know, right? Anyway, if you ditch me, this shaman dude will tear me limb from limb!" said Nightfox.
"Yeah, but, what have you got to lose?" said Donko.
"Shut up, Donko," said XeonV.
"XeonV, what has this guy got to lose?" said Donko.
Nightfox stood up and said, "I don't have anything to lose, but I have a feeling that I can do something good, something that can save the world."
"Don't trust your feelings," said Donko.
"Don't listen to Donko, I'm not denying hospitality to someone who will indefinetly be killed by a psychopath shaman if we leave him out there!" said XeonV.
"He isn't a shaman..." muttered Nami.
"Huh?" everyone looked at Nami.
"The description you gave, Nightfox, it is accurate, right?" asked Nami.
"His name is Ryu," said Nami.
"He is the prophet of the almighty herring."
"Pfft, almighty?" said Nightfox.
"They sure do taste good, but they're hardly almighty."
"Ryu believes that what the aztecs wrote about the herring was true -- that in 2015, the herring will rise from the ocean and take over mankind," said Nami.
"How do you know this?" asked XeonV.
"I had an encounter with him a few years back, I was out camping and he asked if he could stay the night," said Nami.
"We had an interesting talk around the fire, and that's what he told me."
"He never leaves his forest, he must look after the herring, he won't chase us," said Nami.
Everyone sighed in relief and got back to what they were doing.
"Thanks," he muttered.
"What was that?" asked Donko.
"Banks, you know, riverbanks," said Nightfox.
"Uh, they're awesome!"
"Yeah, I know, right?"
Donko and Nightfox began to have a conversation about riverbanks, and they became good friends.
"What he did is unforgivable," said Ryu to himself, exitting the forest.
He looked at the road and saw the tank tread marks.
"Treadmarks..." said Ryu.
He summoned many herring from the lake, and positioned them under his feet.
"Take me foward," said Ryu, and the fish began to hover.
They took off at great speeds, going down the road, searching.
TO BE CONTINUED
donko is not dead - April 17, 2008 01:13 AM (GMT)
Episode 7: Da Village
It was 7:06. In the morning. Savara's friends + Nightfox sped across the sandy terrain in their sun-bleached tank.
"Holy crap, it's like, 7:06 in the morning!" stated Nami, taking a sip of her cocain-infused mug of Coca-Cola.
"Hmm, indeed," said Donko.
"Anyone want to play hangman?"
XeonV stared at Donko with a look of despair in his eyes. The kind that a dog would give you after you just kicked it in its privates. Unless said dog was a literal bitch.
"NO U" he shouted.
Suddenly, the gang heard a clunking sound and the tank suddenly stopped.
"What the heck was that?!!?!" yelled Key, dropping his moderately concealed porn mag.
XeonV got out of the tank, hopped down, and looked at the treads.
"Oh, dang," said XeonV.
"What happened?" asked Donko, who was climbing out of the tank to check out the situation.
"We hit a landmine," said XeonV.
"Now teh tank is stuckzored."
Several thudding sounds could be heard in the distance.
Nami looked down at her cocain-infused mug of Coca-Cola and noticed that small ripples were forming, getting more vigorous every thud.
"What is that sound?" asked Donko.
"Oh... oh no..." said XeonV.
"Everyone get out of da tank!" yelled XeonV, climbing into the tank and waving his arms around.
"WAT WHY?" everyone shouted in confusion.
"Because..." XeonV started.
Everyone leaned forward dramatically.
"...Mecha-Godzilla is coming!"
Everyone shuffled out of the tank, and looked toward the horizon. They could barely make out Mecha-Godzilla, blurred by the heat but still visible.
Donko started running like a moron, followed by everyone else.
"SAY HALLO 2 MAH LIL FREND" screeched Mecha-Godzilla, pulling a bazooka out of his pockets.
Mecha-Godzilla aimed at Key and fired.
The rocket flew toward him at high speed, but Key used his epic counter-attack.
"PK..... TACO!!!!" Key unleashed a maelstrom of taco-sauce and various vegetables at the rocket. The rocket fell to the ground and dieded.
"lol belair'd" said Key, as he caught up to the rest of the gang.
Donko's head spazzed out, forcing him to look to the left. He saw what looked like a village.
"Guys, there's a village over there! Maybe we can lose Mecha-Godzilla if we go in there!"
"He'll just follow us in, kill us, and destroy the village!" yelled XeonV, sweating uncontrollably.
"Not if said village has an array of Heavy-Weapons Guys and Engineers defending it." said Donko.
"Lol k," said XeonV as he swerved to the left.
Everyone swerved with Xeon.
"BITCHES" said Mecha-G as he stuck out his hand and started to use the force.
He picked up Key and started to levitate him.
"Omfq!" Key said.
Mecha-G pulled Key to where he was.
"I've been waiting for this battle all of my life," said Key.
"Now you shall die!"
"NO U" said Mecha-G.
Key put his index and middle fingers over his temple area and started to concentrate.
"OH NO U DON'T!" said Mecha-G.
All of Key's PP was drained!
Mecha-G hit Key for 1337 points of mortal damage!
Key got hurt and collapsed!
Donko turned around and saw the dead Key.
"That's it... PK... TACOOOOOO!!!!"
Donko manifested an even larger mass of taco-sauce and vegetables, and hurled it at Mecha-G!
Key ate some of the manifestation and was revived!
Donko hit Mecha-G for 9110.1 points of mortal damage!
Donko gained 2 xp.
"DANKE DONKO" said Key to Donko as they caught up with the rest of the group.
TO BE CONTINUED! SRSLY~!
Emerald - January 19, 2009 04:12 PM (GMT)
"So... anyone up for some weed?" said Donko, revealing that what he was pulling out was a joint."
I only read 1-4, but I'll finish the story once I've regained my breath... which proly won't happen until tomorrow. Donko, you are a master of randomness.
Don Ko - August 9, 2009 01:09 AM (GMT)
OH GOD I WAS READING THIS AND LOL'D
yoshi-san - September 2, 2009 12:35 AM (GMT)
Good times, good times. I forgot about PK Taco.