Top 8 Cards from Future Sight (for Constructed obv)
The Future Sight prereleases have come and gone, so I’m time shifting myself back to a point where people still care about an article like this. Now, it’s been a while since I, or anyone actually, has written an article. Hopefully the ‘shack boys will turn this into a weekly/bi-weekly series (cool, managed to get “bi” into an article.) So here goes, the top eight cards that people think are good from Future Sight, even though they probably actually suck:
Bridge From Below (Plus dredge’s new friend, narcomeoba)
Now, the last card called to end in “...from below” was the following gem:
So, already Bridge from Below starts off by being way worse than its name-sake. To be fair, the Contract is possibly the best card ever printed, but still. The Bridge is now enabling the once janky dredge strategy to actually be competitive. However, it seems to me that the stars have had to be in perfect alignment for this to be an actual deck. I mean, the flashback part of the okay-ish dread return, narcomeba, flame-kin “you-probably-have-to-look-me-up” zealot and a bunch of 1/1’s for 1 that just happen to be discard outlets. This is the most improbable combo in magic history, and to make things worse, the entire strategy is dead to the best 2-drop in magic, Sakura-Tribe Elder. Even in standard the crap-tastic rusalkas are your worst nightmare. That said, the deck is fast and can win from nowhere, like anybody cares about that!
Korlash, Heir to Blackblade
Now this is a card I can get excited about. He was the flagship behind a recent Star-City $1000 tournament top 8 deck. The deck features Dimir House Guard to get more Korlash, as well as awesome guys like Aeon Chronicler, Detritivore and silver bullets like Persecute, with rise/fall to recur the Korlash. However, the guy top 8-ed on the back of the illegal tutor engine of House-Guard fetching rise/fall, the rise half bringing back house guard and, say, bouncing Chronicler for some more card draw. Who knows how many games he won because of this? It was only picked up by the judges in the quarter final. The deck will probably still be good though, and Korlash fetching blood crypt plus watery grave sets you up for life.
Venser, Shaper Savant
My new favourite card! At the pre-release, I played him end turn to bounce a blocker. I also had Enderek Sahr, Master Breeder in play, making four surprise 1/1’s. I then went untap, paly Tromp the Domains for +3/+3 and smash. The opponent started crying! True Story! And no, I don’t feel bad about making a seven year old cry, or even starting a sentence with and. Sometimes people say, “so, Venser is like a remand then?” with this look as if to say, WTF, why would I pay 4 mana for a remand? Except that, you should really look at it this way: Man-o-war was a 2/2 for three that can only bounce creatures, for 1 more mana, Venser can bounce anything (like charge lands and KAROO lands, GG), has flash, and can also play the remand role if you need it, leaving behind a 2/2 instead of the card you would draw off remand, which would probably be something crap anyway, like Bridge from Below. Plus, he stops Demonfire, which is some good.
(I see him more comparable to mystic snake. – jono)
The New Land Cycle (River of Tears, Grove of the Burnwillows, Horizon Canopy, Nimbus Maze and Graven Cairns) which somehow only count as one card for this article.
Okay, first off what the hell kind of a name is Nimbus? I mean first Knight of the Holy Nimbus, now this. At least it’s not HOLY Nimbus Maze. Ah crap I think I just realised what it’s meant be. Like cumulous-nimbus the cloud formation. Depressing. Soooooo... with my great powers of insight I predict that these lands will see huge amounts of play. Their impact in block will obviously be immediate, and they will be everywhere after the luxury of Ravnica’s duals have rotated out of standard. Graven Cairns, for its awesomeness with Damnation, and Horizon Canopy look to be the strongest. I actually think the canopy would even be strong if it only tapped for one of its colours. Even then I think it would find its way into aggro decks off-colour, just as an excellent rip later in the game. It would be strong even if it didn’t tap for mana! Okay maybe not, but the other points still stand.
Glittering Wish
This card, unlike Bridge from Below, has history on its side. Times past have shown us that anything with “Wish” at the end and that costs less than 5 (sorry, Golden Wish) has been highly playable. Although it places some heavy constraints on your mana, a full multi-coloured glittering wish board probably has a better range of answers than any of the other wishes could, um, wish for. Okay, in extended that is. If you want to play this card in standard then I would suggest cashing in before Ravnica rotates out, since losing putrefy, mortify, hierarch and angel of despair is pretty crippling. The wish has been out of the blocks pretty quick now that FS is legal, showing up in “Project X” builds (the Saffi/Crypt Champion Combo) as well as B/G/W control decks reminiscent (spelt it right first time, awesome!) of the “Beach House” control decks from Pro Tour: Honolulu.
Aeon Chronicler
Haha, got you! This card isn’t in Future Sight! But it’s soooooo good that I decided it needs a mention. My good friend Francois Maurel did this at regionals: Turn 1, Urza’s Mine; Turn 2, Urza’s Tower, Simic Signet; Turn 3, Urza’s Power Plant, suspend Aeon Chronicler for 4!!!!! Turn 4, Land, Simic Sky Swallower!!!!!!111!pwned!!!1111!one!! A story so good, that I just had to include it, like I said two sentences ago.
Delay
Apparently, the jury is still out on this one. Haha, get it? Delay, the jury is still out? Cos they’re DELAYED!! That one courtesy of Jerry Seinfeld himself. This is the token uncommon of the article, and it’s not even black! It’s Blue! Oomph, on form today. This card seems really good, and I hope you’ve heard of the ssssynergy with Teferi by now. However, for now I would still run remand over it in control, because drawing your lands is obviously what you’re interested in. In aggro that switches around I think, since it delays (obv) things like Wrath of God for much longer than remand, and then you get to do things like sacrifice all your guys to scorched rusulka when it finally resolves, because now you are prepared and kept mana open.
Foresee
This is the token common of the article, and it’s not even black! It’s Blue! Oomph... no wait, I already used that joke. Shit. Um... okay the truth is I listed Foresee just because I wanted to reuse the joke. Although it is super good in limited. I mean, its GG good! And not just GG as in Gee-Gee, I mean as in Geah-Geah, pronounced like in Afrikaans. The Japanese dude who writes for SCG even thinks it is good in constructed. I think he may be right, and it seems better than Careful Consideration. A mix is probably necessary, since you want at least one consideration if you play mystical teachings. I just love scry, the satisfaction of putting lands on the bottom of your library is unequalled. Except by Scarlett Johansson, but more on her later.
All the Other Good Cards (which also only count as one)
I couldn’t decide on what the final card should be that I talk about, and since I wasted precious slots on vomit like Bridge from Below and Foresee (okay actually its good), I’ll have to do single word reviews of all the other good cards from Future Sight. Pact of Negation: Broken; Summoner’s Pact: Broken; Jhoira of the Ghitu: Broken; Yixlid Jailer: Broken.... Haha, you thought I was going to use a different word for each, but I didn’t! HAHAHA! Okay, fine, I’ll try to write a sentence on each: Pact of Negation: Broken is the only way to describe it; Summoner’s Pact: I love being able to tutor and the still make an impact that turn; Jhoira of the Ghitu: She just screams to be abused, and is also quite good as a magic card; Yixlid Jailer: Nice hoser, pity all the graveyard decks run Dark Blast; Riftsweeper: Awesome at shuffling away Lotus Bloom, maybe it can COMBO COMBO with delay; Tarmogoyf: Can be huge for cheap, awesome with cycling edge of autumn+flagstones and street wraith; Magus of the Moon: It’s like a Blood Moon that dies; Magus of the Future: A one-of in any blue deck; Oriss, Samite Guardian: COMBO COMBO; Baru, Fist of Krosa: Two great abilities, nice that his grandeur has an immediate big effect; Tarox Bladewing: Broken (there I go again.)
Okay that’s eight cards done. If you are sharp you spotted that there are nine cards. That’s because you counted Aeon Chronicler, n00b! As is customary, I must now include pictures of a hot chix. The three hottest chix on the planet are, of course, Angelina, Scarlett Johansson and Morena Baccarin (watch Firelfy.) So now it’s Scarlett’s turn, which brings me to an interesting conversation I had whilst in Thailand:
Darth_Rubi: Hey, there goes Scarlett Johansson! She’s so fly!
Darth_Rubi: Hey Scarlett, can I tap your mountains?
sjohansson: lol, sure thing
sjohansson: Lets go somewhere private
Darth_Rubi: k
sjohansson: btw, I’m not Scarlett Johansson
sjohansson: I’m actually a Bangkok ladyboy
Darth_Rubi: OMG WTF!?
Darth_Rubi: I thought your jeans were just bulgy like that
Actually this conversation never happened. So here is the lovely Scarlett for your viewing pleasure:
HAHAHAHA lol got you again!!!!! Sorry Cliff for stealing your pic, go to his website at www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou
Okay here is an actual gratuitous hot chix pic (actually three):
Well I hope you didn’t waste too much of your valuable time reading this, and spread the word that the funniest dude since Wackhead Simpson is now writing regularly and get people to visit the Luckshack website.
Reuben Cronje
Aka Darth Rubi on MTGO and Luckshack/SCG/etc forums
Dude, my pictures are missing...
and there were such lovely pictures of scarlett there as well :(
good to see the new site operating tho
