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Pages: (6) 1 [2] 3 4 ... Last » ( Go to first unread post )

 Everyone's a Critic, buh-duh, chh!
laZardo
Posted: Jul 19 2006, 01:56 AM


Unregistered









Kristie, Kristie, Dear Kristie. What can I say about her?

The fact that she's Andi's half-sister is definitely a new twist on the relation side of things. While the biography is short it feels disturbingly efficient. Speaking of which, however, the article fails to mention her being (and how she got to be so) self-sufficient. I'd also like to know how students have often reacted to her narcissistic behavior; do they continue to try to befriend her or do they leave her alone? The biography seems to make her narcissism absolute (which is a rarity indeed); how does factor into her assumptions about Andi?

On a side note, I've already lined up Damien, Renee and Marvin up for execution/critique. :) What're y'all waiting for? My birthday? :P
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Xaldien
Posted: Jul 19 2006, 02:13 AM


Face to face, my lovely foe


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Joined: 17-July 06



I thought about what you said, and added in a few things to try and fit with what you wrote down about Kristey. Grazie ^_^
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d0ddi0slave
Posted: Jul 19 2006, 03:15 AM


Such a shame that I didn't know by now


Group: 20
Posts: 1,316
Member No.: 29
Joined: 2-July 05



Honestly though, don't worry too much about the biographies for now. We'll get real strict on them come V2. :P

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Slayer
Posted: Jul 19 2006, 03:20 AM


K08y0-67cv ;f09358234905h4et9069rghop3490t834000y954y-0hnrgu83ty


Group: Admin
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Joined: 1-July 05



That's a good idea. Though their profiles are largely incomplete (note how I said in both of their profiles their biographies weren't done), I would like concrit on Alexander and Richard. Don't worry about being brutally honest; I'll take it well as long as nobody directly insults me. :P
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Shula
Posted: Jul 19 2006, 04:22 AM


Playing


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Member No.: 144
Joined: 4-July 06



Heh. I was wondering if I could get some feedback on my li'l emoboy, Adrian. (Http://s10.invisionfree.com/SurvivalOfTheF...?showtopic=1098) Is it too weird? It seems somehow weird to me, and I'm not sure why. Any feedback would be great--the good, the bad, the...uh...in between. =P
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laZardo
  Posted: Jul 19 2006, 05:30 AM


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A good chunk of Adrian's bio sounds eerily familiar, reminding me that yes, his doppelganger fits in the cliché. Still, might have been what happened to that certain someone if it weren't for a certain PTA mom. Anyhoo, so far there'll already be many characters in only a few molds, so it's no problem at all. :lol:

I find myself a fan of the exclamatory style of narrative you've used in the middle school part of the bio. I also like the way it explains his style transitions. Curious though as to exactly how having that one friend influenced his personality, if at all. And how have his transitions affected his relationships with the faculty?

On a side note, those girl's pants sound a bit...restricting on a male, even if he is skinny...

EDIT: P.S., your link in the body text doesn't work. The one in the sig does work, though.
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Shula
Posted: Jul 19 2006, 06:45 AM


Playing


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Joined: 4-July 06



QUOTE (laZardo @ Jul 19 2006, 01:30 AM)
A good chunk of Adrian's bio sounds eerily familiar, reminding me that yes, his doppelganger fits in the cliché. Still, might have been what happened to that certain someone if it weren't for a certain PTA mom. Anyhoo, so far there'll already be many characters in only a few molds, so it's no problem at all. :lol:

I find myself a fan of the exclamatory style of narrative you've used in the middle school part of the bio. I also like the way it explains his style transitions. Curious though as to exactly how having that one friend influenced his personality, if at all. And how have his transitions affected his relationships with the faculty?

On a side note, those girl's pants sound a bit...restricting on a male, even if he is skinny...

EDIT: P.S., your link in the body text doesn't work. The one in the sig does work, though.

First off, muchos gracias! anyway, going backwards...the link doesn't work? heh...I thought I used the same one for both...oops. I'll see if I can fix it (because I'm just weird like that)

As for the pants, well, I've seen it done. And the guy a bunch of us blackmailed into wearing them was much hippier than any skinny kid. I know that's not what you meant, but really, there's not much extra fabric in guy-pants there anyway. (I've gotten patterns for sewing both gender pants and really, the biggest difference in the rise...dunno why, just styles I guess.)

Heh, I probably should go more in depth with my emoboy and his buddy.

'gain, thanks for the feedback!
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mitsuko2
Posted: Jul 19 2006, 08:30 PM


Amanda loves you!


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Could someone citice Tybalt and mariavel? Megami's already helped me alot with Miss varella, but I would like some more opinians
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laZardo
Posted: Jul 20 2006, 03:37 AM


Unregistered









Tybalt: I suppose this profile, bare as it is, could use a bit of updating given what's happened with him in the Gilroy RP threads. Prior to that he's been quite unlucky whom he's had a crush on, yes? You could try to flesh out his history and include his family, how has his orientation affected that. On a very nitpicking, technical note, I believe the two homerooms you could choose from in Gilroy were both Grade 9.

Mariavel: For a girl with bi-polar disorder, she sure has a lot of relationships, good and bad (her relationships with Richard and Erick could use a bit more description.) I'm a bit confused as to if hanging out with one member of the Bloody Fists is considered hanging out with the gang, since you say she hangs out with the populars. This leads to the need for a description as to how she ended up with the Bloody Fists in the first place.
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Slayer
Posted: Jul 22 2006, 11:50 PM


K08y0-67cv ;f09358234905h4et9069rghop3490t834000y954y-0hnrgu83ty


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Posts: 8,388,607
Member No.: 28
Joined: 1-July 05



QUOTE (Slayer @ Jul 19 2006, 03:20 AM)
That's a good idea. Though their profiles are largely incomplete (note how I said in both of their profiles their biographies weren't done), I would like concrit on Alexander and Richard. Don't worry about being brutally honest; I'll take it well as long as nobody directly insults me. :P

Also, if anyone actually does, could they please also give some crincrit for Walter? Since he's more "complete" I think more could be done off of him.
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Theseus
Posted: Jul 23 2006, 02:31 AM


There are many sides to a story


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Joined: 29-July 05



Oh I would like to get my two characters critiqued

Ian Rico and Sam Myron

Ian Rico being the one who would probably be easiest to critique because I have been RP'ing him more, thanks :D
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Cycokiller
Posted: Jul 23 2006, 03:01 AM


Playing


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Joined: 4-March 06



Hoo boy...I've got my work cut out for me. I'll get to it, I promise.
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Aphrodite.
Posted: Jul 23 2006, 03:11 AM


Prettyful Princess of the Male Variety/ Aspiring Graphic Maker


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Posts: 47
Member No.: 143
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If someone has the time, could they possibly tell me what's good and what positively sucks about Lee-Ann's profile? I would greatly appreciate your efforts. You even get a digital cookie!
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Xaldien
Posted: Jul 23 2006, 03:25 AM


Face to face, my lovely foe


Group: Members
Posts: 182
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Joined: 17-July 06



QUOTE (Aphrodite. @ Jul 22 2006, 08:11 PM)
If someone has the time, could they possibly tell me what's good and what positively sucks about Lee-Ann's profile? I would greatly appreciate your efforts. You even get a digital cookie!

BTW, I love your icon, I use that same one as my livejournal icon.
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I-eat-cute-animals
Posted: Jul 24 2006, 04:55 AM


Moskau, Moskau, Throw your glasses at the wall.


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Joined: 30-June 06



I'm ready to possibly get shot down, Pick any character except my support character I haven't had a chance to use since Syuji is stuck in school.
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