And I'm Free Fallin
((Just because my character does something does not mean that I ever would do this nor does it mean that you should. Please please please if you ever feel like this, tell at least someone and get some help because you are worth more than you could ever know!))
Ray's life fit in with the weather. He had his sunny days where everything went right, but those were few and far in between. Most of the time, Ray's sky had clouds blocking out the sun. Sometimes the bright sunshine would peek through, but most of the time, everything was a flat gray. But today, at four twenty-eight P.M., Ray got a phone call and his sky turned black. The winds blew harshly and the freezing January rain pelting his back felt like needles.
The weather outside was no different. No thunder. No lightning. Just wind and rain and cold.
As Ray opened the door to the rooftop of the East Campus Apartments, the weather brought his pain to life. The ice cold rain needles punctured his face, and he let the door slam closed behind him. What a perfect night for an ending!
Slow and hesitant, Ray made his way to the edge of the roof and stared over the side at the tear soaked pavement. He could end it all right here. He could feel truly happy again, like he felt only a few short months ago. Like he did when he was still on his anti-depressants. Like he did before this shit storm started.
But before, it had only been raining. It wasn't until four twenty-eight P.M. that the wind started howling in grief. It wasn't until he had been told about how his mother had breathed her last that his breaths had also become hollow. It wasn't until he was told that he didn't have to come right away, that he should sleep at the dorm that the rain had turned to a virtual ocean threatening to drown him.
As Ray stepped onto the slick ledge, he nearly lost his balance. He instinctively threw his arms out to steady himself, and bent his knees for support. At the realization that he almost just plummeted to his death, Ray let out a distressed sigh. Images of his body splattered on the pavement flashed through his mind and left him confused. He wanted to jump. It would be so easy. But... could he actually do it?
Ray carefully stepped back down from the ledge and leaned forward against it as he looked over the side of the building. He needed to think this through for a moment.
Before he even had the chance to start thinking, Billy Joe Armstrong's voice started singing the chorus of "21 Guns" from Ray's pocket.
He let out a long sigh as he pulled out his phone and checked the caller ID. Chris Ledet? His roommate Chris Ledet? Ray wondered why he was calling, and then he remembered. He left a note. Prepared for the worst, Ray swallowed hard and answered with a blank, "Hello?"
"Ray! Thank God! Where are you?" Chris asked. He sounded worried.
Ray's mind went blank. What did he do? Did he answer? Without thinking about it, in the same flat tone, he blurted out, "On the roof..."
"The roof?? Well, shit! Okay, don't move, I'm coming up!"
He was coming up here? Why? To stop him? "No, really, Chris. It's okay... Chris?" Ray took the phone away from his ear and stared at the blinking "Call ended. Chris Ledet. 0:34" on the screen. Chris... He of all people was worried about Ray? After living with him for half a year, Ray was positive Chris hated him. After all the times Chris has complained about how annoying Ray was because he would leave the toothpaste uncapped or play his music too loud or this that and the other... And he actually cared?
Ray was so caught up in his confusion that he didn't have time to even reconsider jumping. It was already too late. Not a second later, Chris burst through the door marked "Employees Only" at the top of the stairwell. Ray's head snapped up, and he immediately noticed the crumpled note in Chris's hand.
"You alright?" Chris immediately asked, a little out of breath from running up three flights of stairs.
"No," Ray replied. It was such a simple answer for such a big jumble of a mess, but it fit.
Chris nodded and paused for a minute as he caught his breath. "You're not gonna..." Chris paused. Unable to finish his question, he nodded toward the ledge instead.
Ray looked back at the ledge and then down at his phone. As he moved he felt the dog tag on his neck shift. No, he couldn't... Not this time. Ray shook his head and responded with a flat, "No."
"Good... I don't think your mom would mind waiting a bit to see you again," Chris replied, gesturing the crumpled note in his hand.
Chris had a point... Ray bit down hard on his lips and nodded.
"Wanna go back inside?" Chris asked, stepping closer.
Ray shook his head. "No... I think I wanna stay up here just a bit longer."
"Alright, but I'm staying with ya," Chris insisted, lightly clapping Ray on the shoulder.
"You'll catch a cold," Ray said.
"As long as you're alive and kicking it'll be worth it," Chris responded with a small smile.