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<div style="width: 350px; text-align: center; color:black; font-family: arial; font-size: 8px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 4px; line-height: 95%; padding-bottom: 2px; ">HOW CAN I LIVE WHEN I'M AFRAID TO EXIST
♥</div>
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<div style="width: 250px; text-align: center; color:black; font-family: arial; font-size: 9px; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: 2px; line-height: 95%; padding-bottom: 2px; ">Monday, Autumn 02, Year 11</div>
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He was a bundle of nerves, and it showed. Dinosaur backpack secured to both his shoulders via the straps, Eugene entered Class 1-A, shaking gently, his heart a complete mess inside. He felt like he might have a panic attack, but he was doing his best to remain calm and not start bawling. The pressure, that suffocating feeling he got when he entered the room was the same as it had been year after year, knowing what awaited him. The ridicule, the laughter, those sneers and looks that replayed in his mind long after everything was said and done.
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Autumn 2nd was the worst time of year, in Eugene's mind. But if he thought this was bad, it paled in comparison to Autumn 1st -- the day before the start of school. He had spent all of last night in a panic, unable to sleep, and because of it he had woken up very late and his Aunt Miranda had reprimanded him. Eugene had rushed out of the house and booked it to Mother of Pearl, barely having made it here just a minute ago. Surprisingly, he wasn't tired -- but maybe that's because he had learnt how to duck and run well over the years.
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Not that that particular 'skill' did him a lick of good - he was never lucky enough to avoid the brunt of most of the punishment and sorrow that the world liked to toss his way. Eugene was never lucky. Never lucky; he came close, but it always slipped away. He'd begun to just stop hoping, and in fact, didn't believe in the word hope all that much anymore. Only rarely would he rely on that belief, and even then he was never surprised when things went south. He expected it.
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If things started to go well, then that meant something was wrong. Something was amiss, and Eugene would soon see what this 'good' would bring him - nothing but false niceties, nothing but a facade of joy. Though it pained him greatly, he'd begun to have these thoughts of Faust; in fact, when he had explained to his Aunt Miranda about his new friend, she had quite literally laughed in his face.
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She just laughed and walked away, a slow sneer of a smile on her expression. As though she knew better than he did, as if she already knew the outcome. He hated it. When she didn't say a thing; he'd prefer the harsh words, the yelling, the hitting much rather than the silence. It made him nervous. It caused his already wild imagination to run amok and he ended up thinking of nothing but horrible, scary things.
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He cried. Eugene had begun to sob when he realized that the one thing he had wanted to stay safe was already being tainted. Already; not long after he'd finally found someone he could trust, someone who he thought liked him. Eugene's throat tightened, and he gripped roughly at his backpack straps.
Does like him; he'd meant to say does. But even as he tried to reassure himself, somewhere in his mind Eugene knew it was a lie.
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Breathing softly through his nose, Eugene kept a neutral expression as he wandered over to his seat and began to take out the contents of his backpack to place them on the table so he would be ready for class.
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THANKS ♥</div>
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