paint the silence, tag; ryan

[Seth Cohen]

seth was finally back in newport and hell, it looked practically the same. of course he came back to newport for holiday breaks but it started to become less and less when he found himself a girlfriend in rhode island.of course they never really lasted, but it was only because he was trying to fill the hole that was summer roberts. oh yes, miss summer roberts, the one that stole his heart and ran away with it. honestly he didn't care if she was dilapidated or if she gave him the ebola virus, he was still in love with her and even when he thought he could shake that feeling off, he still couldn't. he tried to move on, date other girls and he tried to be happy, but then there was just something that they did that would remind him of summer and then he couldn't get the girl off his mind. it was honestly a horrible thing and even though seth hated it when it happened, he felt really bad for the girl at the current time. how the hell do you tell a girl that you're not actually really over your past girlfriend, even though you've been dating for a few months? let's say they didn't take it so well but in all honesty, that was all seth could say. but in keeping everything to himself, he was in dire need of someone to talk to him and he didn't care who it was, he just needed someone.

then he remembered ryan back home. the two of them hadn't spoken to each other since the last time that seth had visited back home and even that trip wasn't as long as he had anticipated. over the course of visits back home, seth and ryan had started to slowly drift apart and with what was going on with ryan and marissa, he was sure that it was just... huge and he didn't want to get ryan's ball rolling because he knew that he wouldn't get a word in about what was happening in his life, which sometimes he thought was more important (or needed more help with) than his problems and issues. but then again, that was seth cohen and if that wasn't seth, then the original boy would've disappeared off the face of the planet and become some other kind of person, and that was something he didn't want happening.

seth was at the house before he decided to go out. he wanted to have a little 'down' time before he went off on an adventure down to ryan's apartment to have some needed, and vastly huge, catch up time. he wasn't sure if ryan was in or not, but seth hoped to god that he would be. but before he went, he decided to hit the old spots that he used to go to. this time, he didn't go down on a skateboard, but he went in a car. driving down and parking, he got out and inspected the old pier and it looked exactly the same except for the people on it. he had gone five years and the crab shack was still there, along with the diner and the bait shop. "excellent," he smiled as seth got out of the car, pocketing the keys before walking down the length of the pier. he didn't think that he'd bump into someone he used to know well. and that person was ryan.

[Ryan Atwood]

after last night, ryan was feeling immensely better in some way, but he knew that his and marissa's sex - no matter how good - wasn't enough to make things all the way better. like the awkwardness that had taken place. it was so incredibly thick, even seth, who thrived in situations that were awkward, wouldn't be able to breathe. more or less like he would have an allergic reaction to the universe. so, after sneaking out of the apartment, he found himself down at the pier in order to just ... get away.

clearly, last night showed that they still had something there between them, but afterwards, it wasn't like old times. probably because they didn't get over the issues that got them so angry, and therefore so passionate, they really couldn't do much of .... anything besides sit there with a few awkward words shared between them.

on the pier, he had gotten a coffee and was drinking it slowly, somewhat glad that he wasn't going to be at work today. more or less, when he said he didn't want a fight, rick figured that maybe it was a good idea to give him some rest. after all, he was pushing ryan pretty hard both at the bar and in the cage, so maybe some down time was good. then again, he didn't want to lose his best fighter fast, so it was only a day.

as he walked along, he glanced at the bait shop and noticed the sign over the door saying 'closed for new management'. someone had bought the bait shop? well, whoever it was, he somewhat hoped that it would be like the way it was four years ago, not the crappy, dinky little bar that it had become. turning his head away from the establishment, he saw a vageuly familiar beanpole figure with the traditional 'jew-fro' and made the decision that it was seth. but, he wasn't about to go rush and greet his brother with open arms.

looking into the mirror, ryan noticed that marissa had left her mark on him - quite a bit, to be honest. his back, his lip, his neck, his ear, all of it looked like he had been in another fight. at least he didn't have a slap-mark on his face to match the rest of his wounds. although he was still recognizable, people would have a hard time believing that he really was ryan atwood. unless they figured he'd look like this at some point in his life, but whatever.

[Seth Cohen]

wow, what in the world happened to ryan's face? squinting his eyes slightly, he tried to figure out the marks that were on his brother's face. it looked like he had been in some sort of fight and he lost... or he won but took a beating first. he didn't know what to think, or even what to say but all he did was stare at the figure that was looking at itself in the mirror. wait, since when did ryan atwood become self absorbed like seth was? oh no wait, he never did (to his recollection and knowledge) so it was a complete surprise to see him inspecting himself in the mirror. maybe he was looking at himself to check out his awesome bruises or something, but seth knew that it wasn't ryan's style, unless it really was now. deep down, he honestly felt bad for not keeping in touch with ryan as he should have, but as assessments piled up and the parties were drawn on longer, he had to attend and show face, hand in assignments, turn up to class and he sort of drifted away from the family he used to know. it was horrible for him because he hadn't made the effort to keep in touch, but he knew that since he was finally back, he was going to try and make amends. not to mention check out his absolutely famous other best friend, bianca.

walking closer to him, seth eventually relaxed his eyes and saw ryan just standing there. wow, did he not notice him? maybe not, he didn't know. after all, staring in front of a computer for so long could do permanent damage. "ryan?" he finally called out as he eventually stepped up to the figure, standing a few feet away from him. he wasn't too sure whether he would get a warm reception from the brother that he had left behind, but he would not have been surprised if he didn't open up to him for a while. the two of them had lost contact over the years he was at RISD and there was the occasional email or two, but that wasn't really enough.

[Ryan Atwood]

as the figure came closer to him, ryan did indeed recognize seth, even after the time between the last visit and now. and when seth called his name, ryan merely raised a hand up in a method of acknowledgement. "hey," was all that he said in a curt tone before taking another sip of his coffee. plain, black, that was how he liked it still, even after living with the cohens and dealing with all of their coffee orders. lattes and macchiattos and cappucinos, he still liked his plain coffee. which explained why he didn't go into starbucks or anything, he just found any random coffee place and ordered his classic.

he didn't think that seth would be back in newport for more than holidays. and checking his mental calendar, ryan couldn't think of any major dates that were approaching. so what was he doing back here? not that he was going to ask. since seth decided that his life in rhode island was more important than his family and the first person to be his friend in newport, ryan had sort of taken a cold attitude towards him. even when sandy and kirsten mentioned him, ryan sort of shrugged it off and conveniently found a way to not be around when seth was. of course, there were the family dinners that somehow ryan had managed to evade (due to work), but at least sandy and kirsten understood a bit - or at least enough to let him go. he usually made it up with a visit on his own.

"what're you doin' here?" he asked in a short tone in some attempt to have a brief conversation. preferably in monosyllables.

[Seth Cohen]

honestly, seth knew that focusing his life in rhode island was probably a bad choice now since ryan and him hardly... no, scratch that, never made contact with each other. when he started out at brown, it was fine for a while before he shifted over to RISD. then he got 'busy' as in getting to know people who liked the same things as him and made friends with them. of course it was something that he had never felt before, acceptance, and he wanted to embrace in what he knew was going to be there for the next few years. seth had made a few life long friends there and he hoped that he could stay in touch with them. in doing so, he had left his family and ryan high and dry when the calls became less frequent and the email less wittier than the last. he got 'busy' because he kept himself preoccupied and that was because he didn't want to think of home. home made him think of summer and thinking of summer made him spiral down into a session of listening to boyz II men and that was something that nobody at rhode island needed to know about.

stepping closer to ryan, he noticed the raised hand and seth nodded his head slightly. well, at least it was a half wave... or at least it was like trying to teach someone to wave. "first you raise your hand, and then you move it from side to side." at least ryan still had the first part with seth. he wasn't surprised that he hadn't run in the other direction. when seth came back for the holidays, ryan always seemed to be busy himself working and seth understood the first few times but after a while he knew that he just didn't want to see him. but he couldn't blame himself, he was the one that detached himself from the family. hearing his question, seth shrugged his shoulders slightly before looking at him. "finished college," he promptly replied and giving ryan a weak smile. even though they weren't really on speaking terms, he still loved ryan like a brother. "so... i'm back, here. newport..." he trailed off before glancing around. "how have you been though? i mean, it sounds like you've been busy,"

[Ryan Atwood]

yeah, ryan had been busy for a while, and now seth wasn't exactly one to be privy to ryan's current lifestyle. "yeah, been working a lot," he shrugged his shoulders in simplicity. ryan was definitely having mixed feelings about seth's arrival right now. so, instead of the shitty relationship he was having with his wife, he'd also have to deal with the one he had with seth. and then bianca, and then riley, and pretty much everyone who he had been friends with back in high school. none of them had stayed behind, or remained his friend, and it was actually a bit sad.

"been doin' well, getting in a lot of hours," he made out in a traditional ryan atwood voice as he took another sip of his coffee and shoved his free hand into his pocket awkwardly. hmm, awkward silence. awkward turtle, anyone?

[[ ooc: pardon shortness please ]]

[Seth Cohen]

ah yes, it was extremely awkward. seth wasn't too sure how the rift between the two brothers had become so large, he was a little surprised at how... weird this moment was. four years ago the two of them would've been smiling, laughing and maybe even sharing a man hug or two, but now it was so much different. seth wasn't there, ryan wasn't there... they weren't there for each other. seth knew that he was probably the one to blame, considering that he was the one that moved away and didn't keep in touch with family back home as much as he should have. but seth thought that letting ryan and marissa have their own time would be good. obviously whatever seth thought wasn't exactly all that good. after all, sometimes his judgement wasn't so good, but nevertheless he usually did it with good intentions. but that never got anybody anywhere.

"that's... good," seth nodded as he tried to fill the silence with small talk. it was like he was meeting someone for the first time, or meeting a friend of one of his friends and he didn't know what to say. now seth had to think of something else other than ryan working because that had really gone down the drain. hmm, maybe he would start to blabber on about sydney and kyle a bit more? who knew, all parents loved to talk about their kids. well, from what seth discovered when he was in rhode island anyway. "so, how are sydney and kyle going? i'm sure they've both taken after you and marissa... sydney with marissa and kyle with you," he gestured towards ryan.

[ eh, mine wasn't that stellar either. ]

[Ryan Atwood]

"so, how are sydney and kyle going? i'm sure they've both taken after you and marissa... sydney with marissa and kyle with you,"

nodding his head, ryan moved a shoulder up and down casually as he needed to move a little bit with this awkwardness. "kinda. they're both a bit more like marissa than i at this point, but they're only five. i'd give 'em time," he replied simply as he slowly (or rather quickly) started to run out of things to say. "how was rhode island?" he grunted in a small neasure of distaste for rhode island as it was.

it was ... not like newport at all. there had been a visit, once, before seth had transferred out of brown, but ryan still didn't like it, not at all. too cold for him. as much as ryan loved his kids, he apparently hadn't been spending enough time with them and didn't really know them as well as marissa claimed he should. then again, most of what was going on in his life and was a large spiraling point was involving marissa and the home life. or lack thereof, in the case of ryan james atwood.

"it's kind of ... eh. complex," he grunted out, deciding not to get into it any farther than that in his case. if he ended up saying anything more about it, it could very well turn into a reverse seth/ryan time. and ryan wasn't ready for either of those things after this amount of time. no way, no how.

[Seth Cohen]

huh, it was still awkward. well seth couldn't really blame ryan for the way he was acting, but now he was sort of fresh out of ideas. it was a well known fact that ryan hardly ever opened up, period. and even if there was seth/ryan time on his hands, seth was usually the one spilling his guts out about something that he was in a jam with and then ryan would be the one with advice. funny how the two of them had just gone back to their old ways of being their own person. oh well. hopefully seth would eventually get back to ryan and that the time that he was away he was just an idiot for not keeping in contact with him. hopefully, that was going to work out.

"ah right..." he trailed off, now definitely not knowing what the hell the two of them would talk about. they had already covered work, marissa and kids. what more was there except for parents who he talked ot before he came out? was that it for the two of them? seth honestly hoped not because if this conversation could get any more awkward, then maybe they were both too far gone to save. "so... i'm not keeping you or anything from work am i?" he asked curiously. in all his years when he was in newport, he hadn't seen ryan wandering around the pier with a cup of coffee in hand before, but then again, that was four years ago. and plus, seth was giving him a small out if he wanted to. might as well do the nice thing since they were lacking in conversation.

[Ryan Atwood]

"so... i'm not keeping you or anything from work am i?"

"oh no, it's my day off," ryan replied quickly - a little too quickly, to be honest. but then again, he wasn't exactly looking forward to going back. so maybe just ... standing here awkwardly was a bit better than sitting in an apartment, completely and utterly awkward with no window of anything taking place. yeah, maybe standing here with seth might be better. "so, how've been things post-summer?" he asked quietly, not so sure if it was a safe topic to speak about, or even if things were ... ah, fuck it.

this would definitely get seth talking - hopefully - and it might just be helpful. "i mean, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine," he mumbled slightly.

[Seth Cohen]

well, at least seth wasn't keeping his brother from working or whatever he was doing. but with the way he replied, seth couldn't help but be a little suspicious. the last time he spoke to ryan about the going ons about him and marissa the two of them had hit a small rough patch but seth was sure that the two of them had ironed it out. maybe they had, maybe they hadn't, seth wouldn't have known, and that was his own fault. and then he heard him ask about how he was after summer. oh thank god, at least now the two of them had something to talk about.

"as much as it pains me, i think i need a male perspective," seth replied with a gentle nod. he had talked it all over with billy and she gave her his opinion. he hadn't heard what ryan had to say for a while, so he might as well give it a shot. "i think... i'm not over her. i mean, i've had girlfriends, but there's always something that they do that reminds me of summer and then i just miss her and then i can't work any more and then... then i wish i had done something else than just going to rhode island. going after her was an option after a few months but she seemed pretty happy there and well, i sorta don't wanna make her depressed or anything..." he trailed off. yup, he was still the crazy, rambly seth cohen, even though he had been missing for a few years.