Aleyeska Weyr

[EbonyWolfe]

Username: EbonyWolfe

Character number: 1st

Name: Ebony

Age: 18

Gender: Female

Appearance: Ebony is a tall and slender young woman, about 5'9", with fair pale skin that appears almost white when she steps into the light and a rather small chest giving her a boyish appearance at times. She has a soft and melodic voice which suits her love for music and singing to a tee. Her hair is short and black, barely tickling the back of her neck and is often shaggy and messy looking when she doesn't remember to brush, but when she does its silken and feathery. Long, lean muscled arms and legs make her a fast runner but her bouts of klutzyness tend to slow her down from time to time. Ebony's hands are small, slender and long fingered, her feet are also small and slender making herself seem almost graceful, until she trips or knocks something over. She has deep, midnight blue eyes that that are always filled with curiosity and warmth.

Because of her size her robes tend to hang on her frame and give her the look of a walking scarecrow, but she doesn't let it bother her and often is seen wearing dark colored clothing: blacks, reds, blues, and purples. She owns two hooded cloaks, one black one blue, that she likes to wear in her own time around the Weyr. Ebony has only one piece of jewelry that she keeps on herself even when she baths, a thin piece of chain mail turned into a choker and a small amulet with two dragons intertwined engraved upon it.

Personality: Ebony is often quiet and shy around people she doesn't know, which left her with very few to no friends while growing up. Once you get to know her Ebony is sweet and kind in nature and has a very compassionate and empathetic heart. She is an animal lover and has always gone out of her way to help any that were in need of care, which often got her in trouble with her parents. A good listener and easy to talk to she often hears things about people that others normally wouldn't hear.

Ebony is very sensitive about her Bisexuality since once when she was younger an elder she trusted called her a freak of nature when he found out, though he had been unstable and drunk at the time she took it to heart. This led her to become snappy and uncharacteristically mean when anyone teases her about it. Her double attraction also led to much confusion while growing up, till this day she has trouble being around others girls especially very attractive ones. Though Ebony is bisexual she has a high preference for women due to her finding most men to be untrustworthy and pigheaded.

Significant trait: Ebony has one scar on her chest in the shape of a crude starburst from where the man that had scorned her orientation had tried to stab her with a stoke from his blacksmithing tools.

Biography: Ebony grew up in a small Cothold not very far from the Weyr. She had good parents that loved her and supported her until one day during a terrible storm while her father was out fishing and ended up drowning when his boat capsized. A few months after her mother became ill and died as well after weeks of pain and sickness. Only 10 years old at the time she had no where else to go, their neighbor took care of her till they found a place for her somewhere else. After that she was taken to the orphanage of a Major Hold where a woman who was once a good friend to a Dragonrider told her stories about the magnificent beasts that soared the skies and protected all of Pern from the Thread.

At 13 she met the elder that ended up scorning her and attempted to kill her for simply being bisexual. Since then she was wary of men and other people's reaction to her. Ebony grew up helping around the orphanage and doing odd jobs in the Hold to earn money. When she was finally 18 the kind woman that cared for her helped get her into the Weyr so she could have the chance to become a Dragonrider like she always dreamed and to help prevent the tragedy of her loss from happening to another ever again.

Status: Candidate

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pets: No pets though she does like to feed any of the strays she finds from time to time.

Dragon or wher: N/A

Fighting Wing: N/A

[EbonyWolfe]

I'm so sorry i don't know how to fix the topic title ^^;. Please forgive me...I didn't even realize it till the last minute.


I figured it out almost as soon as I messed up so nvm.

This post has been edited by EbonyWolfe on Jul 9 2009, 08:49 PM

[Thialyn]

Okay, she looks great accept for a couple key points that need to be fixed.

One is her name. The Pernese population is not big enough to warrant surnames, so she would just be called Ebony, with no last name. Another thing is her coloring and eye color. it is very, very rare for a person to have black hair and blue eyes. Due to Pernese genetics and how uncommon they are in general, that combination is nearly impossible. Brown hair is much more common, though it can appear almost black. I know this, because my hair is distinctly brown but can look black in dim lighting. Also, her eyes, though they can be blue, being so light as to be nearly white is not really a natural, probable coloration.

With her history, I would suggest reading a little more about Pern to get some of the details more correct. The main things I notice are the "village" and "town" references are incorrect. "Village" might be called a cothold, depending on its size. A "town" is known as a hold, or Hold, again depending on size. For Thread, it is well known when Thread would Fall in one particular area. Her parents wouldn't have been caught out in it unless they were unfamiliar with the area. They could be killed during a freak accident while on sweeper duty after a Fall where a Thread burrow had spread too much for ground sweepers and somehow got a hold of the father, since women do not go out in sweep.

Another minor note, there is not marriage on Pern. They are called lifemates, but Holders and dragonriders cannot become lifemates just due to the fact they live entirely separate lives. A dragonrider might have taken a Holder as a temporary lover while they were on Hold duty or during a Gather, but a dragonrider does not take a Holder as a lifemate. It just complicates things too much.

So yeah. Your profile is not as bad as all that text makes it look, trust me. Just a few things need to be changed, and they are generally minor details.

[EbonyWolfe]

Ok I edited it. I hope i did it right this time! and thanks again for the criticism! It helps alot.

[saberlin]

APPROVED!

[EbonyWolfe]

Glorious Day!! Off to the Sands!